They say ‘In need of modernisation’ but what does that really mean? And how much should it knock off the price of a house?
‘IN NEED of modernisation.” What this well-worn cliché meant was a complete mystery to me. I mean, how is a house in need of modernisation? In reality, it means a house can be shabby, even wretched. As in need of a good demolition as some places are, prices could also do with a lick of the wrecking ball.
We’ve developed a pretty good idea of the house we’re looking for. We had to figure this out by viewing loads of them. And some places really do require industrial strength beer goggles before being in any way appealing. Given that turning up drunk to viewings isn’t going to happen, we’re more focused in what we’re looking for.
We just want a three-bed family home, a bit of garden and maybe off-street parking. We don’t want to move again in five years, never again preferably. We’ve seen a fairly broad interpretation of what we want, at a staggeringly differing array of asking prices, which bear no relation to reality.
On our search, one agent haughtily told us it wouldn’t be sold unless there was a six in the price. We suggested a rough price with a five in it, if we were to make a bid. He suggested otherwise. That was before the Budget, so I told him we’d see how he felt after Brian Lenihan fleeced us all.
The house apparently went for under €600,000, and no surprise there, as it was an utter slum. But it was a slum we were able to afford.
Although a blessing in disguise, it doesn’t disguise the fact that we were effectively told to run along and stop annoying the grown-ups, despite being serious buyers. Worse still, this house was on the market for over a year, its price sliding steadily. Another house nearby also gave us a sinking feeling. Literally. It had subsidence so bad, the house was practically limbo dancing under the Dart line.
We decided to arrange one afternoon where we looked at 10 properties. Each was as a three-bed family home. One house was too small, one was a health hazard. Another had cupboards so curvy, Geppetto clearly tried to make Jayne Mansfield for Pinocchio, lost interest, and used Jayne as storage space instead. We put it in the maybe category, more because the house had a good vibe.
The deceased owner had obviously lived a happy life, and you could feel it in the walls. We missed the boat on that one, but it was too far over from work for comfort anyway. Goldilocks really has nothing on us for being fussy, but no house was just right, not even nearly right.
Not every house will be suitable, but I keep hitting on the same problem, with every house. Despite headlines of falling prices and estate agents telling me the market is stagnant, asking prices for lots of houses aren’t matching the value we see in a given house. A moderately pleasant property near where I grew up was priced at €750,000. I hope the vendors are patient people.
We can’t justify the price, so it won’t be coming from us. We reckoned the total spend, including work to make the house simply inhabitable, would be within easy reach of €1 million mark. The few buyers out there don’t have that kind of money and we want at the very least a house with functioning essentials, a kitchen and bathroom, before we part with over half a million. Besides, many sought after neighbourhoods in south Dublin are hardly Beverly Hills. This nice house was in a nice, utterly unremarkable neighbourhood.
A house is only worth as much as someone will pay for it. There’s no intrinsic 800thou-ness to any house anywhere.
Nevertheless, some sellers appear to expect buyers to see such prices as good value in a city where basic infrastructure is bested by practically every eastern European city from Leipzig to Lodz.
So I’m going to suggest something which “needs modernisation”: a charming, slightly bloated 2006 price expectation. Great aspect, but bit too showy. In need of serious downsizing. One thing’s for sure, property prices are facing a credibility crunch.
