If you’re joining the many people who give up drinking for January, the following thoughts and perspectives might help you to get through it more easily than otherwise.
I have tried them out on myself and they seem to help.
If you go through a patch of boredom, it’s tempting to assume that you would feel entirely different if you were drinking. But people who drink get bored just as often as people who don’t drink. The idea that alcohol drives out boredom is just the booze whispering temptations into your ear.
What are you going to do instead? Dropping the drink and sitting and looking at the four walls is not really an option that’s going to work for very long.
So you need to come up with other activities that are fulfilling, or pleasurable, or just relaxing or interesting during this month. If you don’t, you’re adding an additional load onto your shoulders.
Fake memories
The thought of not drinking is often more difficult than the act of not drinking.
If you’re a seasoned drinker, the very idea of not drinking can seem weird. Many of the drinks you’ve guzzled may have been downed in the “I’ve started so I’ll finish” spirit and might have added little to your enjoyment. So not drinking may be easier in practice than you’re telling yourself it’s going to be.
Beware of euphoric recall. Your brain will conjure up rosy and fake memories to make you have a drink before the month is out.
So you might recall that every glass of wine was a delight when in reality, it was just another glass of wine.
You might remember the Gloomy Man Bar as a place of unbridled excitement and wonder when it was really a boring place where people went to be depressed and that you couldn’t wait to get out of.
Let the craving pass. This is sometimes called “urge surfing”. When the urge for a drink hits, allow the urge to pass in its own time. In other words, don’t desperately try to push the urge away: leave it alone and it will go, probably in about 20 minutes.
Remind yourself often that this is what you want. You want to get to the end of the month without having had a drink and in better shape than when you started out. You’re doing this because it’s what you want, not because a cruel world has bullied you into it.
Remembering all of that when you’re gagging for a drink actually helps. It’s not forever; it’s not even for an evening. The desire to have a drink hits different people at different times of the day.
Health police
When it kicks in for you, remind yourself that what you’ve got ahead this evening is, at most, a couple of uncomfortable hours which will then pass and which, as the month goes on, will pass more quickly.
Eat. People who give up the drink are always advised to eat regularly. This isn’t just boring old rubbish from the health police. The hungrier you are, the sharper the desire for a drink.
If, over the years you’ve put off eating until after you’ve had a couple of drinks, then you have trained yourself into associating hunger and drinking.
Ride out the identity crisis. If you identify yourself as a drinker, then you may not actually know who you are even during one month off the booze.
Just let the identity crisis pass: the month will be over soon enough. And remember, you’re allowed to give up the drink for a while even if you’re not an alcoholic.
If you want to read something, try a book called Kick the drink . . . Easily! by Jason Vale.
The style is as brash as the title and it has a garish red cover, but the contents are worth it. Vale is about giving up the drink for good; however, his ideas will help you to complete the January challenge successfully.
pomorain@yahoo.com Padraig O'Morain is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His latest book is Mindfulness on the Go. His mindfulness newsletter is free by email.
