That’s men: are you feeling burned out?

Burnout is one of the big issues of our time as people struggle to keep up with often impossible demands in both their work and personal lives. Sometimes the demands are external – they come from others. However, sometimes the demands are internal, generated by ourselves, inside our own heads. An example of this is feeling that we need everybody’s approval in the decisions we are making or the way we are living our lives.

When you get burned out you feel fatigued: you think you are getting nowhere with the demands you face; everything seems outside your control; you’re cynical about the job or whatever other situation you are in; and maybe you drink too much to get some relief. You can even put up a great front to other people while, in reality, you are dying inside.

The pressure of being burned out can be overwhelming.

At this time of year, people think and talk about change a great deal. If you’re burned out, you may not believe in the possibility of change. Even so, read on because here are some thoughts that might prove helpful for you.

First, you are not on your own in being burned out – many people have the same experiences, reactions and feelings as you.

If your burnout is due to your job, you are not unique in that feeling either. Things in the workplace move on with or without you and this is not a bad thing – don’t sacrifice your health or your life for a job.

In order to help you cope with workplace burnout, talk to somebody “inside” the problem and to somebody “outside” the problem.

Somebody “inside” the problem might be a colleague or manager who may not realise that you are under this pressure in work. Give it a try.

By somebody “outside” the problem I mean a friend, a partner or perhaps a counsellor. If you are burned out, it is very hard for you to get any kind of objective perspective on what’s going on. But somebody else, outside the problem, can give you that perspective.

Whatever the situation, find ways to step back from it and to find some head space.

Stepping back means having periods of time when you are not actually thinking endlessly about the work or other demands that have led to the burnout.

Morning routine Try these few exercises to help you cope with your situation. When you are getting up in the morning, put your attention on the feeling of your feet against the floor and all the physical actions of getting your day going. Every time your mind defaults to rumination, bring your attention back to these simple things. When you're having lunch, keep bringing your attention back to what you're doing – which is eating lunch.

Take “no problem-solving” breaks such as a brief walk during which you promise that you will keep bringing your attention back to your walking. Promise yourself that you will not try to solve any of your problems during the break. Stick to that promise.

Focus on what you can control. You can control the sort of simple actions I’ve mentioned above. You can also, usually, control whether you say yes or no to new demands. Sometimes, to get some space and to keep yourself sane, you need to turn down good opportunities: one good opportunity too many can tip you over into burnout if you’re already close to it.

Read a book called Essentialism by Greg McKeown. It's a terrific book and is aimed at people like you. If you read it and take it to heart I think you will learn to say "no" more often and to carve out a space for yourself in your own life. To get an idea of his approach, take a look around his website at www.gregmckeown.com

Burnout destroys people’s wellbeing – doing something about it could be the best investment of time you’ll ever make.

pomorain@yahoo.com Padraig O'Morain is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His latest book is Mindfulness for Worriers. His daily mindfulness reminder is free by email.