I’m 30, have never dated anyone and am unsure of my sexuality

All the advice seems to be for people certain of their sexuality and who want to come out

Photograph: Getty

Photograph: Getty

Dear Roe,

I am a 30-year-old woman and I have never dated or been in a relationship, and I am uncertain of my sexuality – or whether it even exists. While I have been flattered by the (very) occasional interest of men in the past, I had no desire to spend time with them, and my interactions with men in these settings have always felt stilted and false. Over the past few years I’ve begun to wonder am I gay, and the idea seems more natural to me. I’m a thinker and not a doer however, and I have no idea how to explore this further. All the advice out there seems to be for people in their teens or for those who are certain of their sexuality and want to come out. I want connection but find it hard, and am terrified I’ll put myself out there and feel nothing.

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