‘I am beginning to feel trapped and controlled by my partner’

She orders my food, tells me what to wear and constantly checks my phone

‘She constantly checks my phone to see if I am more connected to someone other than her.’ Photograph: iStock

‘She constantly checks my phone to see if I am more connected to someone other than her.’ Photograph: iStock

Question: I had been dating a woman before Covid and it was all looking very promising, but she was living in Europe – the travelling over and back made the relationship very special and exciting. We made a rushed decision during the first lockdown, when everyone was panicking that there would be no travel, to move in together and she moved to Ireland to live with me. She was able to work from home, so it did not involve a move of jobs.

During Covid, we got on great: we spent most of the time alone together and had a lovely romantic time and we discussed getting married. However, since the recent opening up and with the lifting of Covid restrictions I am seeing a different side of her and it has me worried. She seems very controlling and at first, I thought it was sweet – a sort of missing me if I was away for a short time, but now it is getting serious. If we go out with friends, it can only be with couples where she thinks the female partner is not good looking; or if I want to spend time with my own friends, she has a meltdown. She said that she has made a huge sacrifice for me and she needs me to acknowledge it.

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