Paisean Faisean, on TG4, is one of my favourite home- grown programmes. Three buachaillí are given €500 each to choose an outfit for one lucky cailín deas.
The lads are gan clue faiseanwise, and it's great craic watching them trying to decide whether a peann luaidhe skirt will suit Niamh or whether Bláithín would prefer some wide-leg bríste instead. A show that's not afraid to send itself up, it's as camp as a scout jamboree. The buachaillí feign macho rivalry, and the harshest thing the cailín deas will say about their choices is that the colours clash. The successful boyo gets to take the cailín deas on a date.
By far the best thing about Paisean Faiseanis its presenter, Aoife Ní Thuairisg. There are many reasons to celebrate Aoife. At a time when straight-up- and-down skinny is the fashion, she has the figure of a 1950s starlet and is not afraid to show it off. She has a cute way of looking at the camera, well-groomed eyebrows raised, when the buachaillí step cheekily out of line. She knows the word for stilettos in Irish. And kitten heels, probably. She's a cailín deas who does her own thing.
Whenever I've seen her at award ceremonies she tends to waft down the red carpet, oozing real glamour as opposed to ice-dancing glamour, which is a different kind entirely. You may have guessed that I'm a fan. Such a fan that, a few months ago, I was seriously contemplating writing to Aoife or her producers to suggest that they do a gay version of Paisean Faisean. It seemed a natural progression. Maybe. The Sunday Independentreported last week that plans for a gay edition of Paisean Faiseanwere recently scuppered by Aoife's religious beliefs. It turns out she's a Jehovah's Witness - and that, rather than pay lip service to her beliefs, she tries to live out the tenets of her religion. Her religion says homosexuality is a sin. Ditto sex before marriage. And blood transfusions are also incompatible with her beliefs. But not, apparently, wearing low-cut frocks. Small mercies. So the story goes that plans for the gay version of the show were shelved. TG4 is considering whether to commission a fourth series of the programme.
Its maker, Magma, said: "During our discussions, the idea of doing an all-gay show was brought up. Aoife made it known that because of her background doing such a show may be difficult. In the end we ran out of time, and it was that reason why the show hasn't happened yet. But we would still like to do that show sometime." Aoife said: "My main concern was the show. I felt the show was strong enough and didn't warrant any change to the format. That the idea was taken off the table along with many others doesn't mean that the show wouldn't be done or that I wouldn't be presenting it."
As I seethed with indignation - I'm a champion seether - I wondered a couple of things. Was Aoife in the habit of asking heterosexuals who wanted to be on the show if they were having sex before marriage, and vetoing their participation if their replies didn't suit her beliefs? And was my seething indignation, which had been set off by Aoife's religious beliefs, just another form of intolerance? Mostly, though, I was sad, because Aoife is not alone in her reservations. A female texter to Sean Moncrieff's radio show, on Newstalk, was delighted with Aoife's stance. "It's time the gay fad was ended, so we can all stop pretending we agree with it." Because, of course, being gay is a fad. Like Heelys. Or high-waisted jeans. Maybe that's why the brilliant International Dublin Gay Theatre Festival gets no revenue funding from the Arts Council. "Oscar Wilde? Just a fad. Will totally blow over, darling."
Talking about the election later, a friend remarked that a certain politician would never be leader of his party because his sexual orientation would make him unelectable as taoiseach. You can't lead a country and be gay, apparently. You can be corrupt, but if you are a man you must fancy women or be seen to fancy women, otherwise you'll never get the support of the people.
My guess is that TG4 will recommission Paisean Faisean. And that there'll be gay and lesbian editions. I really hope Aoife presents both of them. Buddhist, Jehovah's Witness, Catholic or Jew, she's simply the best cailín for the job.