Ps & Qs

Festival season is in full swing and whether you’re VIP-ing it at Glastonbury or raving in a forest at Electric Picnic, the decorum of the muck and rain-ridden countryside remains the same.

The shower situation at most festivals isn’t great, but not washing at all can be pretty offensive, especially after three days. The sun is out and yes, you got a spray tan, but dressing like a 16-year-old hippy only works when you are a 16-year-old hippy. You may be feeling young and free, but if you wouldn’t wear it to your friend’s barbecue for fear of indecent exposure, it probably isn’t acceptable in a field either.

After a late night or two, your tent and surrounding area can begin to look like a tip. While picking up rubbish is the last thing you want to do with a pounding headache, remember you’re sharing a field with other lovely creatures. Waking up to rodents munching on a half-eaten bag of Meanies will scare the hangover out of anyone. In that half-slept haze, you may think that the people standing in front of you at London Grammar won’t mind if you sally up the front. Sure, how could they? You’re their biggest fan ever. They will. Particularly when you slosh a full pint down their backs on the way through.

Finally, we know using the bathroom in the dark is tricky, but if you’re finding it tough, maybe take nature’s call in a more natural (albeit hidden) setting. Oh, but mind the nettles.