Those soft focus Christmas food ads have it all wrong. There’s a lot more to a successful family feast than passing around the mince pies and pouring prosecco. First of all, everyone has to be there, on time, so don’t be the scatty late one with the lame excuses and a visible hangover. Your in-laws, like most people over the age of 35, are likely to be tired and prickly. Don’t rub your mother-in-law the wrong way by arriving as the turkey is going on the table.
Dresswise, nothing too short or too low. It’s distracting and could get you into a spot of bother with the creepy uncle. Don’t laugh at some of their barmier household habits. Radio and TV on full, post-it notes on the toaster? Everyone talking and nobody listening to anyone else? Regressive squabbles in every corner? It’s just their thing. Ignore it and enjoy the food.
Coeliac all of a sudden? Keep it to yourself, rather than make an issue over bread sauce. If you can’t take the food, make up for your barely touched plate by being charming. Be kind to the elders and smile. If small talk is really not your thing, then you’d better be good at stacking dishes.
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Late in the evening you’ll be forgiven for falling into a doze, but don’t pass out cold. If it’s all too much and you have to leave, remember where you put your bag or car keys so that the entire room doesn’t have to get up and start looking.
Don’t insist your partner leaves too. Sometimes the polite thing to do is just slip away and let the family be a family again.