FATHEAD IN A FAT SUIT

REVIEWED - NORBIT:A horrible film - alternately boring and offensive - Donald Clarkefinds.

A DECADE or so ago I made a genuine attempt to go and see Michael Winterbottom's adaptation of Thomas Hardy's Jude the Obscure. Standing in the queue, I had time to contemplate the various options available in the cinema. The prospect of seeing Christopher Eccleston covered in dung was certainly appealing, but the cinema was also showing The Nutty Professor.

Eccleston covered in cow poo or Murphy in a fat suit? It was another five years before I saw Jude.

I mention this by way of clarifying that I bow to nobody in my affection for the combination of Eddie Murphy and pink foam rubber. So when I tell you that I would rather have ground glass rubbed in my eyes than see Norbit again you may wish to sit up and pay attention.

This horrible, horrible film - alternately boring and offensive - finds Murphy playing a nerd; his hugely fat, insanely jealous wife; and a Chinese-American gentleman with an unfortunate line in racial putdowns. There is an unnecessarily complicated plot involving the possible closure of the orphanage in which the hero grew up, but the film exists purely to facilitate jokes at the expense of certain African-American stereotypes.

As ever, the golden rule applies: you can get away with almost anything if you are funny enough. Sadly, the fat jokes are far too perfunctory to distract the sane viewer from pondering what exactly Murphy has against his own people.

Some recent Oscar voters may have asked themselves the same question and put their tick against Alan Arkin's name by way of protest. There being no Thomas Hardy adaptations in town at the moment, readers can register their own displeasure by taking themselves to the new David Lynch flick instead.