Don't you just hate it when you've secretly lost your way, and your wife or girlfriend is beginning to suspect something's wrong because you've just driven through the same grotty, empty, sodden-wet little village for the third time?
Obviously, as a man, you must never stop and ask for directions; that would place you in an inferior position to whichever jabbering peasant happened to assist you. Worse again, it would strengthen the hand of that whining know-it-all in the passenger seat, who can't even read a map, by the way.
No. If Christopher Columbus can find America using just his innate sense of direction, surely you are manly enough to locate the correct road. Why involve others? You should just find some sports on the radio and ignore any objections, because you are, just like Columbus himself, the captain of the ship.
Of course, like all good navigators, you would use whatever devices were at hand in your quest for truth. Which is where the Traveller might come in handy.
This little electronic display sits on your dashboard - just like a compass really - and indicates the various routes available to you. Programmed using Automobile Association data with every road in Ireland you type in your starting point and your destination, and it will give you a junction-by-junction breakdown of the route. You can also buy extra data cards, for Britain and France.
The Traveller, around £50 (€63.49), and extra data cards, at around £30, are available direct from Newtronix on 00-44 1727 875955.
Gizmo suggestions welcome: smaccarthaigh@irish-times.ie
