IN BOX:IN THIS game, it's sometimes hard to tell if a gadget or bit of software is actually of any use or not. Who knows, perhaps there really is someone out there who has been waiting for the electric dog- hair remover to come out in the shops? Or perhaps that electric toilet roll dispenser will find a whole new fan base?
At least now though we have some kind of research one the subject.
Reevoo.com is a site which which only allows people who have actually bought a product to review and rate it.
So here for your delectation and enjoyment is that list in full. At least now we’ll all know where the truth lies about that so-called useful gadget.
In reverse order all the way up, the most pointless gadget of all time is:
No 20 Back scratcher – Indeed. This often felt like a good gift purchase at the time. But in most households it was soon to be found in the junk draw/cupboard or eagerly replaced by a willing partner.
19 Towel warmer – Still considered actually useful in some homes but in reality bettered by a normal radiator and usually hotter than the core of the Sun to touch, making it optimistically named “warmer”. Watch out for third-degree burns.
18Yoghurt makers – I distantly remember my mother bettering the yoghurt maker with a carton of shop-bought plain yoghurt, some sugar and chopped hazelnuts. It has gathered dust ever since.
17Electric tin openers – Definitely in the category of ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’. In practice the electric tin opener would usually try its best to take your hand off at the same time it opened the tin.
16Egg slicer – For some reason, it was felt a sharp knife was no match for a hard-boiled egg. Go figure.
15Facial tanners – Because you really do want your face to look a darker colour than the rest of your body, causing passersby to yell “Freak!”.
14Mini disk player – All the inconvenience of an old tape recorder translated into a brand new, expensive format which was dumped shortly after.
13Teasmade – Actually I’m slightly bemused to find this on the list, having had a childhood spent sitting on my parents’ bed waiting for boiling water to wake them from their slumber. Happy days.
12 Face steamers – The same effect can be achieved with a hot towel or bending your head over a saucepan of boiling water. For nothing.
11Trouser press – One of those gadgets that everyone thinks could be a great time saver but no one ever actually owns, unless they run a hotel.
10Electric carving knife – Guaranteed to make the mind wander to visions of mafioso-style killings, as your mother-in-law carves up the roast in the kitchen next door.
9Electric fluff remover – Redundant since the day when pullovers started being made in vast Indo-Chinese factories rather than bought at church jumble sales.
8Egg boiler – Another handy way to part people with perfectly good saucepans from their hard-earned money.
7Hair crimpers – Replaced – I gather – by hair straighteners (although interchangeable in the fashion stakes).
6Fondue set – Another victim of the backlash against the 1970s. Almost certain to be on the “must have” list in a month or so when Madonna starts using one again.
5Foot spas – Electricity, hot water, bubbles and feet. A potent mix, probably invented by the originator of the Darwin Awards, where incredibly stupid people are killed accidentally by their own hand, thus improving the gene pool.
4Soda stream – Ah, Soda Stream. Redundant even in the 1970s when soft drink was already widely available.
3Electric candles – As ugly as they are useless at lighting anything.
2Laser guided scissors – Yes, just the thing you need to cut a razor-edge fringe or some Christmas wrapping paper.
And the pièce de résistance:
1Electric nail files – A close cousin of the electric tin opener, also designed to attack its owner. At least though – when global warming finally swamps Dublin – we’ll know which gadgets to blame for pumping the atmosphere with greenhouse gases.
