There’s no mystery as to why they chose Kielty for the Late Late. He’s not 76 years old. His bodily organs didn’t come from a black morket doctor in Bogotá
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly columns
There’s the big foghorn voice for storters. The way he shouts random stuff like, ‘Stealth, Leinster! Stealth!’ The bullshit opinions on the game. The focking Latin. Oh my God, the focking Latin
Christian’s ex-wife Lauren is asking about the college fund I supposedly set up for my godson, Ross Junior
Honor goes, ‘It’s because I’m not good-looking.’ I’m there, ‘Looks aren’t important, Honor,’ and I’ve no idea where I’m pulling these lines from
This Joshua goy is a ring for Harry Styles – we’re talking way out of Honor’s league
I’m having this brainwave when the old man shows up, asking for help to dissuade the old dear from applying to present The Late Late Show
I know they say it’s not good for your health but my relationship with Honor has never been better
The idea of the old dear hosting The Late Late Toy Show is too funny to turn her away
If everybody is doing something how bad can it be, Ross thinks, as he submits to peer pressure from his daughter and discovers vaping
Ross gets a call from the old dear. She’s definitely got an – if this is an actual word – alterior motive
Winning the Grand Slam is great, but Ross is about to be brought back to earth with a bump
The big Castlerock College versus Newpork Comprehensive showdown has arrived
When his ‘back me or sack me’ move backfires, Ross is left in a mild depression having lost his job as the coach of Castlerock College girls rugby team
The Rossmeister General finds out about the ‘deleterious effect’ rugby is having on academic and behavioural standards among girls at school
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