Solerina Gunnell full of class but Eddie and Mike full of it

TV View/Mary Hannigan: If Ted Walsh said to someone "jaysus, but you're a horse of a woman" you'd know that he'd mean it well.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and to Ted there's probably nothing lovelier than a fine set of stifles and a smashing girth. So if he got a slap on the cheek in return he'd probably say to himself, "well, that's the last bloody time I'll try to be romantic".

So, when Solerina romped home at Fairyhouse yesterday and a swooning Ted said "watching her gallop along she reminds me of Sally Gunnell" you knew he actually intended flattering the retired human hurdler, even if she mightn't have replied: "you silver-tongued devil".

Robert Hall and jockey Dave Casey, guest for the day, waited for some elaboration on this Sally comparison. And they got it. "She reminds me of Sally Gunnell because she looks to be always going flat out, but yet she keeps picking it up a bit," said Ted.

"To ride her Dave, what way is she?" he asked. "Yeah, she appears that way, you always feel 'am I going too fast on her'," said Dave. A pale Robert desperately hoped they were talking about Solerina. They were.

Back in the winner's enclosure Tracy Piggott was trying to have a word with Michael Bowe, who was attempting to keep control of the frisky winner. An elated Bowe could only conclude: "She's a class filly, she speaks for herself." Eat your heart out Mr Ed.

Euphoria, then, at Fairyhouse amongst Solerina's supporters, who were in almost as jubilant form as the Sky Sports' team in the build-up to Britain's Tri-Nations rugby league clash with Australia at Elland Road. Jubilant because they sensed that Britain were about to beat the Aussies for the first time in over 30 years.

"This is a truly massive night," said Eddie Hemmings as he opened up the show with a Churchillian-like address. "There is a real belief out there in the country that maybe Great Britain's moment has come . . . it could be 80 minutes that could quite easily shape the history books of rugby league for many, many years to come."

Mike 'Stevo' Stephenson was at it too. Looking directly in to the camera he took a deep breath and emoted: "I think destiny and history is in the hands of Great Britain. Australia say they're tired, I just have an inkling they're looking for an excuse - I can assure you they're not tired, but we'll still beat them."

Cripes.

Never mind GB, it sounded like Eddie and Stevo were ready to fight the Aussies on the beaches. With that Land of Hope and Glory filled the air and the cannons roared as the teams arrived on the pitch, the first time anything has successfully fired at Elland Road for some time.

Fast forward to half-time: Great Britain 0, Australia 38. Eddie seemed almost tearful. Stevo, frankly, didn't know where to look.

The second half was much better, GB scored a try and only lost 4-44. Still, Eddie and Stevo were inconsolable, regarding the evening as something of a let-down.

"Hope," said Eddie, "we were full of it."

Indeed they were. Full of it.

"We really shouldn't have got carried away, but the emotion got to us all. We will keep the faith here on Sky Sports, don't worry about that," he said, sounding worryingly like a broken man.

They rarely lose the faith on RTÉ's rugby panel, especially when Ronan O'Gara's boot is in the vicinity. Before it sprang in to action at Lansdowne Road George Hook told us that his granny could score 40 plus points all by herself against Scotland - she may yet be a surprise inclusion in the Lions squad. O'Gara maintained the granny theme after the game. "Can I just say hello to my granny in Ballisodare in Sligo - howya Granny, hope you enjoyed that now and you're still there sitting in your little seat by the Aga, I'll talk to you tonight," he said. Bless.

Birmingham City's Robbie Savage loves his granny too, as we learnt on Bravo's Premiership Diaries. 'Nan' (83), Robbie told us, hasn't been well lately and is now taking 91 tablets a week. Now, if your nan hasn't been well and she starts losing weight then you really should probably worry about her, rather than congratulate her for shedding a few unwanted pounds.

"D'you think I've gone thinner Rob," she asked him.

"You have, you've lost some weight there - you look nice." "I've lost a lot of weight," she said.

"I can actually see your boobs now, sticking out your top," he said.

Premiership footballers, eh? A babe's a babe, even if she's your 83-year-old ailing granny on 91 tablets a week.