Slick to watch, sickening to hear

The time has surely come for the terrestrial channels to put up some sort of shield to fend off the self-styled celestial body that is Sky. On Saturday, the sheer scale of the problem was exposed when RTE - and, indeed, the BBC and UTV - were denied live rights to the Ireland-England rugby international.

Some might jest, or even argue quite seriously, that most of the country was spared the embarrassment of what occurred in Twickenham. But that masks the point. What is now belatedly the Six Nations (previously the Five Nations) is a part of our sporting culture and, although the rest of Ireland's matches will be shown on RTE, it's a bit like getting a plate of spaghetti bolognaise only to discover there is no meat in it.

Money talks, of course, and Sky have truckloads of it, but you'd feel there is some sort of moral obligation on sports governing bodies to ensure that as many people as possible can view fixtures. But obviously not, and gold in the palm is worth more than such Corinthian values. Which is a pity.

Down the years, an Ireland-England showdown always had a special appeal. Admittedly, Irish wins, especially in Twickenham, have been scarce. But I'll tell you what I missed most about Saturday's transmission: a good, honest-to-goodness, no-holds-barred dissection of the game afterwards.

Sky's panel were all a little too saccharine. It appeared too artificial. Indeed, it was only some time later, during the half-time interval of the Wales-France game on Network 2, that we saw what we were missing when Messrs Hook and Pope cut loose.

"Embarrassing!" said George Hook, of the Irish performance.

That was only the beginning. He claimed that nine Irish players were sub-standard and that there was a need for two major changes. "The manager and coach must go . . . they asked to be judged (on this match), and we've judged them," added Hook.

"There are a lot of disappointed and embarrassed people," said Brent Pope, who felt that it was time - again!!! - for the Irish team to "get back to basics".

"They'll have difficulty selling seats for the Scotland game," opined Hook.

Pity was, all of this took place some time after the game and only managed to bear belated comparison to the observations of the Sky pundits. They were also talking, in the main, to viewers who hadn't had the opportunity to actually see the match.

There is no doubt about it: visually, Sky Sports do a tremendous job. Every modern gadget and technological aid is used to give the viewer a crystal clear aspect of the game. Statistics too, fed with relish.

But the words, certainly in rugby, that accompany the pictures fall down. Is Sky a British channel? Or an international channel? Or an English channel? In matters of rugby, only one nation appears to matter: England. And commentators Miles Harrison and Stuart Barnes left nobody in any doubt as to where their loyalties lay. It was almost as if they were gloating about England's display. Anything good that came across about the Irish - and, admittedly, there wasn't a lot - sounded a touch patronising.

One comment, from Mr Barnes, towards the end of the match stuck in the gut. It concerned Brian O'Driscoll, one of the few Irish players to do himself justice. Earlier, he'd described O'Driscoll as the "new Mike Gibson", but his later remarks beggared belief when he said of O'Driscoll: "Proud Irishman, but I'm certain deep down he'd be thinking `Oh, to be wearing a white jersey and playing centre today'." Nauseating.

Barnes, in fairness, is a good reader of the game and, after only 12 minutes, observed that the "spate of penalties being conceded by the Irish is really taking the steam out of their game".

Half an hour into the game, and commentator Harrison was in a position to observe with delight that England were already "out of sight". When Austin Healey scored his try just before half-time, he crowed: "England are now in Six Nations heaven . . . if ever a side needs the comfort of the dressingroom, it's Ireland now . . . the whistle just can't come soon enough."

He was right, of course, but the way he said it made it harder to take. Or was it just me?

Things didn't get any better in the second-half either. When Neil Back flashed over for a converted try which stretched England's advantage to 32-3, Barnes enthused: "(We're) entering realms of the rout . . . the Irish tackling is abysmal." Indeed, for all Ireland's possession in the second-half, it seemed as if England were just using them for practice, knowing full well that the match was already won.

One period saw Ireland have 17 phases of possession - thanks to the Sky statisticians - although Barnes observed: "It didn't really look like they were going anywhere at all, too little imagination."

Pitchside analyst Dewi Morris observed at that juncture in the game, "the pace of the game has been too hot for Ireland to handle from the first kick. That 17 phase proved it, (they're) absolutely clueless."

There was some egg-on-face time for Australian great Michael Lynagh, who had probably spent too much time with the Irish hacks in the run-up to the match, and had actually plumped for an Ireland win in the pre-match discussions. "I got that wrong," admitted Lynagh, who soon fell in with Sky's ways and gave them what they really, really wanted - and that was a vote of confidence in England for their visit to Paris.

Jeremy Davdison was the token Irishman in the studio - if you take it that Dublin-born Kyran Bracken is really English - and he had to defend a sticky wicket. "When you encounter a team on fire, it's every difficult . . . we were definitely second best."

"Is Warren Gatland the man to turn things around?" he was asked.

"I'd prefer not to answer that question," responded Davidson, before supplying the politically-correct answer. "I think Warren will stay on as coach and we'll bounce back."

Bracken observed that it was "probably England's most complete performance for some time", and it's true that England did so many things right that they appeared a real force again, especially with so many guys just turned 20 or so in the backs.

But everything just seemed to be too sugary and sweet, and the pats on the backs to the English players and management too chum-like and friendly to leave you wondering how tough the Sky men would be on England should they ever turn in a performance like the Irish. But perhaps that's asking too much!