Returning from the grave an onrunning theme

The TV pundits' views on Liverpool v ChelseaTHEY'D MET so many times before last night's Champions League knockabout that we worried familiarity would breed contempt and that we'd be served a lacklustre stalemate, both sides, perhaps, reserving their fire for the second and decisive leg, defensively opting for caution and restraint in the first.

Alternatively, there was always the chance that this would be a classic encounter, like one or two of their previous clashes, the drama possibly triggered by an early skirmish that would simmer on through the evening before exploding into one of those never-to-be-forgotten occasions.

As it proved, though, Liam Brady and Eamon Dunphy were on their best behaviour, even agreeing with each other once.

This suspension of hostilities, we reckoned, was down to the presence in the studio of John Giles, the Boutros Boutros-Ghali of RTÉ's football panel, so calming an influence on the pundits around him we half-expected the panel to have a group hug before they kicked off.

Boutros Boutros-Gilesie was, of course, missing for John Cleese-gate, when Liamo quibbled somewhat with Eamo's video-assisted assessment that Arsene Wenger had gone star-raving bonkers.

But Gilesie was back, so tranquillity was restored. Just to be on the safe side, though, RTÉ sat Graeme Souness in between Liamo and Eamo, so if they wanted to get at each other they had to go through Graeme first - the last man who tried that . . . well, he's still very much missed.

Every member of RTÉ's A team was, then, on duty, which meant you needed a very wide widescreen telly to see them all at the same time. In many ways RTÉ had opted for much the same selection policy as Liverpool and Chelsea, tons of midfielders and not much else.

To a man the panel expressed shock that there were no shocks in Rafa Benitez' starting line-up, a historic first, at the very least expecting Harry Kewell to be dusted down for his annual appearance, although maybe Rafa's saving him for the final.

As for Chelsea, well whatever about the line-up Gilesie still had his doubts about Avram Grant. Doubts so big the Israeli reminded him of his old Leeds manager, Jimmy Armfield.

Gilesie: "And Jimmy wasn't any good." Eamo: "John, the Late Jimmy Armfield."

Gilesie, Liamo and Sounie: **Very confused**.

Gilesie: "What d'you mean?" Eamo: "Well, he's dead now." Gilesie, Liamo and Sounie: "No." Eamo: "No?" Gilesie, Liamo and Sounie: "No." Eamo: "Oh."

In fairness, it wasn't the first time Eamo had written someone off a bit early, but give him a break, we've all been there, and he has acknowledged that Cristiano Ronaldo is half decent.

Anyway, with Jimmy reinstated as alive alive-o, Eamo went on to express his own doubts about Avram, so many of them we wondered if he had a video prepared drawing comparisons between his demeanour and that of, say, Fr Dougal. And, just to have all angles covered, another video of Rafa doing his Manuel the Fawlty Towers waiter on the touchline. You have to be prepared for all eventualities. A draw can banjax these plans though, so we waited to see what would unfold.

"This is going to be a war of attrition," promised Eamo.

Bill O'Herlihy looked worried. "You mean boring," he asked.

"No, completely compelling . . . if you like showbiz, Bill, you should go to the pictures."

Gilesie agreed. Not about Bill going to the pictures, about it being an attritional affair. "I think it's going to be scratchy," he forecast.

"Do you," said Bill. "I do Bill," he said.

A scratchy, compelling war of attrition it was too. We think. What does scratchy mean in Champions League semi-final terms anyway? Naturally enough the one player who we were gobsmacked to see starting the game, Dirk Kuyt, scored the only goal of the first half.

The second was equally scratchy and compelling, Liverpool easing to yet another 1-0 trouncing of Chelsea, final whistle due any second, all over bar those three little words: "John", "Arne" and "Riise".

Bill spoke for us all: "What was he trying to do?" "Well . . . ," said Gilesie. "Well . . . ," said Liamo. "Well . . . ," said Eamo. "Well . . . ," said Sounie.

That cleared that up, then.

Meanwhile, back in the Liverpool dressingroom.

"What were you trying to do?" asked Rafa.

"Well . . . ," said John Arne.

Risse's own goal, then, meant Chelsea were back from the dead. A bit like Jimmy Armfield.