"We will accept Deutschmarks, francs, lira, pesetas, guilders or Scottish pounds. Any currency will do, just to get the bloke off our hands."

- Nottingham Forest Dave Bassett, em, invites bids for Pierre Van Hooijdonk.

"He is due to resume training on Friday. That's fine, but if he looks to be running a bit awkwardly, it will be because I've stuck the olive branch up his bum."

- Dave Bassett (again) on Van Hooijdonk's return to Forest.

"When I started earning a living 15 years ago, I was told I would never be as good as Brian Clough, never score as many goals, or do this or that like Brian Clough - and most of the time it was him telling me."

- Nigel Clough on life as Brian's son.

"My dad has been very critical, but every young lad trying to make the grade has a critical dad. Mine is just more critical than most."

- Paul Dalglish on life as Kenny's son.

Newspaper Reporter: "You've got a lot of your dad in you."

Paul Dalglish: "I have got half of my dad in me and half of my mum. Have you seen my mum play?"

"I was interested when Robbo said he was going to help Gazza with his drink problem. In what way? Buy the first round?"

- Guardian journalist Jim White, in an interview on Virgin's Website, queries Bryan Robson's ability to help Paul Gascoigne climb on the wagon.

"It is an excess of caution to be influenced by a group of paranoid hacks on Fleet Street."

- Now who could be slagging off Britain's tabloid journalists? Answer: Rupert Murdoch (pot. . . kettle. . . black), who is unhappy about the British government's decision to refer his take-over bid for Manchester United to the Monopolies and Mergers Commission.

"It is a squad game anyway and, in some respects, it is interesting for fans to see the youngsters coming through."

- A spokesman for Bass, sponsors of the Worthington Cup, tries to put a spin on the fact that most of the major clubs aren't taking the competition (renamed the Worthless Cup by some) too seriously.

"Muzzy Izzet? I'm just in love with that young man."

- Martin O'Neill, speaking after Saturday's win over Liverpool, declares his undying love for Izzet, his Leicester midfielder. Beats `the lad done well'.