Planet Football

McCarthy's men abroad: While Roy Keane celebrated his new contract at Manchester United with another impressive Champions League…

McCarthy's men abroad: While Roy Keane celebrated his new contract at Manchester United with another impressive Champions League performance and Shay Given bolstered his claim for improved terms in Saturday's FA Cup quarter-final, the real cross channel action Irish-wise, was to be found in the second division where Brentford's own would-be boys in green played crucial roles in the club's 3-0 win at Wrexham.

One Irish under-21 international, Martin Rowlands, stole the show by scoring two of the afternoon's three goals but another, Ben Burgess, laid on one of the strikes and actually provided his team mate with a fine oportunity to complete his hat-trick. Also centrally involved in the win, meanwhile, was Stephen Hunt.

Best of all, though, was the appearance three minutes from time from the bench of Ireland under-21 international number four. Danny Boxall hadn't played competitively since picking up the first of a series of knee injuries in February of 2000 and his return to action is a tribute to the determination of a man who had marked himself out before the lay-off as a talented defender with a great deal of potential.

Clearly it was a return long awaited by the club's official website too for Boxall, who had played 63 times for the Bees during his first two seasons with them, was credited afterwards with having just made his debut by the Griffin Park dot commers.

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Talk about about adding insult to injury...

Singapore FA's entertainment boob

Singapore's Woodlands Wellington club is in a spot of bother with the country's Football Association after they hired two cheerleaders, dressed in bikini tops, mini-skirts and thigh-high boots, to entertain the crowd at their recent match against Sembawang Rangers. The mainly male crowd didn't seem to object at all, at all, but the Association's competition director, Quah Kim Song, was not impressed and has advised the club to use performers who are "attired properly instead of revealing so much flesh".

"Frankly, I felt it was quite distasteful. This is football. It's the entertainment on the field that will bring the fans to the stadium," he said, after Woodlands and Sembawang had fought out a drab scoreless draw. "Instead of dancers, wouldn't it have been better to bring in some jugglers?"

Does he really, really want Woodlands' followers to answer that?

Brazil keeps with spirit of the game

Sublime, we reckon, is the only word to describe this snippet of a conversation between former Scottish international Alan Brazil and Mike Parry on radio station Talksport recently (as extracted from Private Eye by Football 365) - Alan Brazil: "It was so sad to hear this morning of the death of John Shaw." Mike Parry: "John Thaw, Alan." Alan Brazil: "Do you know, I keep getting his name wrong. John, if you're listening, sorry mate."

Red card for greeting card referee

Apparently it is a Belgian tradition that when yourself and your loved one have a baby you send cards to all your pals alerting them to the good news - and include a list of presents, one of which they might to like to buy the little one.

No problems there, except when you're a referee and you send such a card (and pressie list) to every professional club in the Belgian league. No? Oh yes. Peter Jordens has duly been suspended for the rest of the season by the Belgian Association of Football Referees who, according to Ananova.com, claim "the gesture may be mistaken as soliciting for bribes".

A sad tale, but at least Jordens Jnr is probably now the proud possessor of a polyester replica baby shirt from every professional club in the Belgian league.

Website of the week

www.carlsberg-irishsoccer.com

Peeved that the Republic of Ireland's opening World Cup match is at 7.30 in the morning? Well, evidently, so are the 2,500 football fans who signed the petition on the "Time For A Change Campaign" website in its first 48 hours. And what do they want changed? Em, they're asking the government to "take radical action and go Japanese for June" by changing our clocks from Greenwich Mean Time to Japanese time. They're even promising to protest outside the Dáil tomorrow. What's that? It's not the same way we all go? True, but wouldn't it be triffic if they succeeded. Sign that petition now.

Quotes of the week

"Whenever I see his wife, I go out of my way to plant a kiss on both cheeks, which isn't a hardship really because she's a pretty girl."

- Aston Villa manager Graham Taylor on his pleasurable campaign to persuade Juan Pablo Angel to stay at the club. Mrs Angel? Our thoughts are with you.

"I don't think my players would have waited three months, that's for sure. I think they would have been on death row for six weeks."

- Alex Ferguson on the Football Association's delay in hearing misconduct charges against Arsenal's Thierry Henry and Patrick Vieira.

"He does not disturb my nights at all."

- Arsene Wenger denies he sleeps with Alex Ferguson (nor do his comments about the Henry/Vieira hearings trouble him).

"I joke with the players. I tell them that I am throwing a dice to see what happens. Whether it will be Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde, I don't know."

- Chelsea boss Claudio Ranieri, still coming to grips with the English language.

"I call him 'One Chance Willie'. He's been getting chances this season and he's stuck them in every time he's got them."

- Robbie Mustoe on the nickname he's given Middlesbrough team-mate Noel Whelan. We're tempted, but we'll resist.

"I have heard about the interest from Tottenham, but I prefer not to think about it."

- AC Milan defender Martin Laursen elated at the prospects of a move to White Hart Lane.

Keano could have got fatted calf

It's too late now, having put ink to paper on his new contract at Manchester United, but if Roy Keane had opted for a move to Nigerian first division club Kano Pillars ('Keano signs for Kano'?) his efforts would have been rewarded in a way they've never, ever been at United. After beating league champions Enyimba, their first defeat of the season, the players of Kano Pillars were given a goat each as a bonus by the club owner, Kano State Government. The coach and chairman got the big prize, though - a cow each.

Dead fish eyes a Turkish delight

Browsing through the pages of Onefootball.com the other day we came upon an article on the origins of team colours in Turkey. Very interesting, too. For example, did you know that Galatasaray play in red and yellow because local legend Gul Baba presented Sultan Beyazit II with one red flower and one yellow one and asked for a school to be constructed in his garden - that garden is now the site of Galatasaray High School where the club was founded in 1908"?

Wake up. The tale that really tickled our fancy, though, was the explanation for why Trabzonspor wear claret and blue. The colours represent anchovy-fishing in the Black Sea off Trabzon - the blue represents the sea and the claret represents the eyes of dead anchovies. What? You knew already?

Football on TV

Tomorrow: Arsenal v Deportivo la Coruna, TV3, 7.45.

Wednesday: Barcelona v Liverpool, TV3, 7.45; Manchester United v Bayern Munich, ITV, 7.45.

Saturday: Middlesbrough v Liverpool, Sky Sports 1, 12.0; Hibernian v Hearts, Sky Sports 1, 5.35

Sunday: Aston Villa v Arsenal, Sky Sports 1, 4.0.