Dermot Gilleece's Golfing Log: About 10 years ago, at a time when Howard Clark was given to notoriously black moods, and observers referred unkindly to Colin Montgomerie's matronly manner, David Feherty happened to be drawn with both of them in a British tournament. How did he enjoy the experience?
"How would you enjoy spending an afternoon with Charles Manson and Dame Edna Everage?" he replied.
Familiar with Feherty's facility for humorous hyperbole, we were suitably amused. And we knew that none but the most professional of photographers relished the prospect of snapping Clark in action, while Monty's brittle temperament was a regular feature of the then tournament scene.
Feherty was not subjected, however, to the club-banging petulance displayed by rookie Pat Perez, while squandering a glorious chance of victory in the AT&T Pro-Am at Pebble Beach last Sunday. After hitting a three-wood second shot out of bounds at the long 14th, he smashed the club into the ground. And he repeated the procedure after a similarly wayward shot on the long 18th, before bending the offending club over his knee.
Of course there is nothing new in this. Mention club-throwing and the name of Tommy Bolt automatically springs to mind. "He had such a temper that it's amazing he was able to win," recalled Christy O'Connor Snr. In fact, Bolt won 15 times in America, including the 1958 US Open.
When fined $25 for breaking wind on the first tee, he famously complained: "Hell, they're taking all the colour out of the game." And he castigated "flippy-wristed college kids" for not being able to throw clubs properly. In fact, he once suggested that he might open a school for club-throwers so that players could launch them in the right direction and at the correct angle without fear of damaging them.
But Bolt was playing at a time when there was very little golf on television. The situation was certainly a far cry from what I was to witness while having breakfast in my Monterey hotel on the third morning of the 2000 US Open. Due to fog, Tiger Woods still had to complete his second round, which was held over from the Friday.
Early on Saturday morning, Woods stood on the 18th tee at nine under par for the championship, seven strokes clear of a faltering Miguel Angel Jimenez and with the prospect of increasing his advantage. Either way, he was certain to beat the record lead of five strokes after 36 holes, set by Willie Anderson at Baltusrol back in 1903.
Despite the help of a freshening breeze, Woods saw fit to launch one of his specials - and promptly hooked the ball into the Pacific. Whereupon those of us getting to grips with our cereal were assailed from the television by an outburst - four-letter expletive included - which almost curdled the milk.
"The Tour talked to Tiger a couple of times," said Jack Nicklaus this week, when asked about the behaviour of Perez. "Sometimes that can turn a player around and help him. It did for Tiger." And what of himself? "Oh, I got mad," admitted the Bear. "But I got mad inside."
So, has Perez learned his lesson? Apparently not. "If I throw away a tournament like that again, I'll probably get mad again," he said.
"A club is an implement designed to be used for striking the ball. To date, no implement has been designed that strikes the ball at the intended target: however, a number of such implements have deen designed which strike the ball at right angles to the target and into rough, bunkers, water hazards, and across boundary markers, and these are the only ones that are ever approved for use in a stipulated round by the USGA."
- The Golf Nut's Rules of Golf: 4-1 (clubs and balls).
Fame without major fortune
One of the most bitter regrets of Doug Saunders after squandering his chance of victory in the 1970 British Open was that he had also lost the opportunity of joining the Hall of Fame. "They only admit major winners," he said.
Not true. That may apply to the USPGA Tour version, but not to the World Golf Hall of Fame. And Christy O'Connor Snr is among those hoping to emphasise the point in this year's ballot. Indeed the line-up for the international ballot includes his old Ryder Cup partner, Peter Alliss, for whom a major championship triumph was also a step too far.
The 14 nominees, from whom the voting panellists are required to select their top five are: Masashi "Jumbo" Ozaki, Ayoko Okamoto, Chako Higuchi, Isao Aoki (all Japan), Graham Marsh, Kel Nagle, Norman Von Nida (Australia), Tony Jacklin, Peter Alliss, Max Faulkner (England), Ian Woosnam, Dai Rees (Wales), Sandy Lyle (Scotland) and Himself. Those candidates receiving votes on at least 65 per cent of the ballots, will be elected to the Hall of Fame.
With six points awarded for a "major" triumph, four for the Players Championship, three for a US or European Tour victory and one for Ryder Cup team membership, O'Connor has 100 points. This places him ahead of all the other candidates from these islands with the exception of Woosnam (107), the 1991 US Masters champion.
British players already in the Hall of Fame are Neil Coles, John Jacobs and Michael Bonallack, apart from the leading "major" championship winners such as Henry Cotton, Harry Vardon, John H Taylor et al.
Dentist extracts foot from mouth
When his father was professional at Ferndown GC, Peter Alliss had his first experience of the black humour of golf. It had to do with an abrasive dentist, a mysterious visitor and the club secretary, Wyn Williams, who fancied himself as something of an expert on nurturing greens.
None too impressed with the secretary's greenkeeping efforts, the retired dentist watched intently as Williams and a rather gaunt young man walked around the 18th green. Here and there, apparently on selected areas of the putting surface, they stopped to sprinkle a white powder from a small square box.
Unable to contain himself, the dentist followed them into the bar, walked straight up to the official and demanded: "Well, what bloody muck are you putting on the greens now?" Alliss recalled: "There followed the loudest silence I have ever heard." "Er," stammered the secretary. "May I introduce Mr Donaldson. His father wished to have his ashes scattered around the 18th green at Ferndown and we have complied with his wishes."
Oldest swinger bows out
Interestingly, his name has yet to gain inclusion in the record books. But Harold Hoyt Stilson Snr, who died last weekend in Florida from a viral infection, is accepted as the oldest golfer to have recorded a hole in one. He did it last May at the 108-yard 16th at Deerfield CC - with a four iron, not a lofted wood.
Remarkably, the venerable Stilson was 101 years of age. The oldest ace by a European happened in January 1985 at La Manga, where 99-year-old Otto Bucher from Switzerland holed out on the 130-yard 12th.
Born on April 10th, 1900, Stilson played saxophone and clarinet in Detroit's big bands, before going into business. Turning to golf in 1921 would have helped, no doubt, to get the smoke-filled atmosphere of the dance-halls out of his lungs. Either way, he was married for 76 years before his wife Becky pre-deceased him 1998, aged 94.
This day in golf history
On February 9th 1958, Alexander Walter Barr "Sandy" Lyle, was born in Shrewsbury, the son of a Scottish professional. Precocious golfing talent was endorsed when, at 17 years and three months, he became the youngest winner of the English Amateur Championship. After winning the European Tour Qualifying School in 1977, he embarked on a professional career and won the 1978 Nigerian Open after beginning 61,63. Lyle has since won 18 European Tour events and 13 elsewhere in the world, six of them in the US where he captured the 1987 Players Championship and was the first British winner of the Masters in 1988. He holds the course record at Portmarnock with a 64 in the 1989 Irish Open.
TEASER: A player replaces his ball under a rule and, in the act of removing the object marking its position, accidentally moves the ball. What is the ruling?
ANSWER: Removal of the ball-marker is part of the replacement process. Accordingly, under Rule 20-3a, no penalty is incurred and the ball must be replaced.
