O'Connor's mourning after optimism

All-Ireland Football Final: Tom Humphries on Kerry manager Jack O'Connor's retreat to the lonely sea and the sky of home to ponder All-Ireland defeat

1 Phil Jackson and his role in Kerry's downfall

He's not a slave to the piseogs but perhaps it was the abandoning of his routine that did it. On the Friday of a big match weekend it had been Jack O'Connor's habit to get out alone and play seven, eight, nine holes on Waterville and let his thoughts ferment in the wind and the solitude.

He didn't do the same this time.

"Maybe it was a bad mistake!" he laughs.

On Friday he went over to his father in the old home place at Dromid. He went away up the mountain had a chat to himself and back down for a cup of tea with the father. Visited his mother's grave on the way home.

The final blessing.

At home, Bridie was heading off to her sister's to be ready for the early train the next morning. He spent Friday night alone, dodging calls, watching a little TV, reading his book. Thinking.

He likes books about coaching. He likes books by great coaches.

He was reading Phil Jackson, the old Chicago Bulls and LA Lakers coach. The Last Season?

"Yeah, come to think of it!"

2 "And losing isn't a good feeling"

Croke Park, a year ago. He etched the memories. The firework show of emotions which the last whistle brings. Wanting to linger forever on the lovely turf.

This year he came galloping down the tunnel to escape the light and the noise. One thought: get away as quickly as possible.

"The dressingroom is the only sanctuary that you have. There's some strength in the togetherness you have when you are locked in the dressingroom. It's all going on outside and you are in there together. The end of the year. There's fellas trying to get togged off and out of there as quickly as possible. We had a few words about togetherness. It was a tough scenario."

Himself and Seán Kelly walked down through the media to the Tyrone dressingroom. There was a camera crew inside. And celebrations going on.

"The contrast is drastic. There was a ferocious buzz inside. They are on a high and you arrive in and you are sombre and your heart is down by your toes. You have to dig deep and give them due credit and recognise they are a great team and played great football and deserved their win. We did that."

And then it was done. Just a few questions with the media and he was free. Some fellas had seen him knocked down and wanted to know his funeral arrangements. Would he be packing it in now or later? He kicked to touch. "The usual oul raiméis."

In Jurys on Sunday night away from the cameras and the bright lights of The Sunday Game crew they ate quietly and a few people spoke. He was impressed with Declan O'Sullivan's maturity when he got up. It struck him again what an extraordinary bunch of people he was involved with.

"It was a sombre evening but there was nobody breaking ranks, nobody going off on solo runs. We stuck together."

Then on Monday morning he could scarcely open his eyes. The weight of Sunday seemed to have gathered itself up to press itself down on his eyes.

"You wake up. There's nothing to plan for. It's over. Was it a dream or a nightmare? The reality comes to you and you're initial reaction is that your world has come to an end. You build yourself up for months and then there's a winner and a loser.

"Nothing in between. Whatever they say about participating in sport well, yerra, there's a winner and a loser at the end of the day. And losing isn't a good feeling."

3 Listen up recruits. Those trees are what jungle war is like

Some of the Kerry players, Hassett, Moynihan and Darragh Ó Sé had good mileage on the clock but this was no senescent squad looking to wring one last title out of an epic journey.

Tyrone had their ancient mariners too, but Mickey Harte's ability to mix and mend meant that Peter Canavan could be rested mid-match while Collie Holmes could be introduced to good effect and Brian Dooher, well, Brian Dooher could continue to be football's version of Yifter the Shifter, ageless and incapable of stillness.

The stakes were high. Tyrone and Kerry didn't want for context. Their short rivalry has been intense and has been for the ownership of football. Old world versus new. Last Sunday two managers tilted for their second title. Two teams jousted for the right to be called the best of the era.

He got home on Tuesday night, struggling with flu. He sat down to watch the game, his two sons beside him contributing the sort of observations all selectors would if they had the gift of perfect hindsight. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Bridie was in and out. Jack just watched.

And . . . "My own gut reaction is, and this isn't to take anything away from Tyrone, the lead into the game killed us. We weren't really tested. People thought we were saving a big performance - and we hoped we were - but we weren't tested enough. Last year we were tested by Limerick twice and by Dublin and by Derry for a portion of the game. We didn't have that this year and that did us no favours. You have to find the chinks in your armour as you go along.

"You can get fellas working very hard and tackling hard in training. You get a lot of bodies into a confined area. We knew that Tyrone would tackle like tigers but unless you get those battles you're clutching at straws. We mentioned it several times. Were we going to be fresh or were they going to be more battle-hardened? We were always going to know at five o'clock on Sunday evening.

"We began well. A lot of people say we played badly but looking at it I don't think so. We played as well as we were let play. An awful lot went right for Tyrone. In the build-up for their goal we had got possession from the previous three kick-outs. We were quite comfortable. We were winning an awful lot of ball in the middle of the field. We weren't doing an awful lot with it but . . .

"The goal was hugely significant, the timing of it. We had dominated for 15 minutes. Then Tyrone for the same. Then in the last five minutes of the half we were getting a lot of ball. I thought that goal came against the run of play in that sense. We had a ball kicked in and a free against Colm Cooper for allegedly pulling (Ryan) McMenamin.

"The rest is history. Mike McCarthy was coming up field to support the ball carrier. Paul Galvin had to get back to cover. The goal was hugely significant. Tyrone only need a sniff of it. They had it between their teeth then." He shakes his head.

4 The country behind, the country ahead

Kerry were three points down at half-time. Said the usual things. "Get the first score", "up it". They got two of the first three scores of the half but Tyrone stitched three successive points in the space of six minutes.

Kerry had a brief resurgence. A point from Darragh Ó Sé. A goal from Tomás. One point in it and a wasted chance to go level. Canavan scored that extraordinary point from downtown at the corner of Cusack and Canal. Gooch narrowed it to a point again. Ten minutes left.

"We battled hard in the second half, having gone five down. Tomás brought it to a point. The next score was going to be hugely significant. We just missed a chance to equalise which would have put doubts in their heads and they went down the other end and Canavan kicked an unbelievable point. Hugely significant.

"They got the few breaks that made a huge difference. O'Neill had a shot come off the post. There were four Kerry backs underneath and it fell into (Owen) Mulligan's hands.

"But you have to acknowledge that they played fantastic football. Coming into the last 10 minutes the games against Dublin and Armagh really stood to them. In the midst of it all, though, our performance is getting lost. I'm looking at it as managers do, from their own side. The one thing that would hurt would be if fellas had thrown in the towel. They were battling right to the end."

They had spoken often about Tyrone's strength but the long summer of attrition had hardened Tyrone beyond what even Kerry had anticipated.

"They beat ourselves, Armagh and Dublin without ascendency in the middle. It'sa fantastic tribute to the use of possession."

Kerry being Kerry, periodically the county gets involved in these battles for the soul of football. This year's rap is that Kerry played too much in the style of their opponents but couldn't break enough tackles to sustain it.

"Yerra there's fellas giving out all right," says O'Connor. "Some of them are saying we held up the ball. More are saying we hit it in too high. Sure they were praising us for the ball we put in against Cork. Different days. One game you're putting the ball in where you're not pressurised too much. The other you're putting in when there's a couple of Tyrone men putting heat on you. The lads weren't putting in bad ball because they wanted to put in bad ball, just when there's pressure on you you can't put it where you want it.

"That's just a sign of how hard Tyrone work. They get a man back to cover the space and they get fellas to pressurise the kickers. That's a fairly potent mix.

"I felt that in the first half there were times we could have put it in a bit earlier but fellas don't realise there was quite a substantial breeze there and fellas felt they wouldn't hit the right spots. Against Tyrone, hanging on to the ball is only encouraging them. They get huge benefit out of tackling and turning over the ball. That's a huge part of their game. They seem to get a score everytime they achieve a turn-over. I think they got six like that against us. My feeling is that at all costs you have to kill the ball against them. Put it dead."

Regrets? Of course he has a few. Darren O'Sullivan made his championship debut for Kerry. When they saw how he sizzled and how he drew the frees they thought they might have used him a little earlier. Then again, 18 years old and untested?

"Listen, if we had another go I suppose we'd do things differently but we gave it all and gave it honestly."

5 The Holy Ground and The Holy Grail

His instinct is to walk away. All his life he's gone at things with intensity, achieved and then walked away. He lost his first championship match in two years as Kerry manager last Sunday. "We put everything into this and you say to yourself 'if my best isn't enough what else is there'?"

There were thousands of people out at Killarney and Rathmore and Tralee on Monday night, though, and he was genuinely moved by the thought of so many people making an effort to attend a homecoming that had no glinting silverware.

On Tuesday he came home the long way. Went to see his old friend Gerry Mahony. Called again to the father's house. Finally watched that video. Afterwards he got his jacket and went out for a walk against the fading light.

He has his own trail back in the home place. A familiar, solitary walk along the skyline, looking down to Skellig Michael, back towards Glen Iarrach and away up over Finian's Bay. He sees every kicked ball again as he gazes out over the Skelligs and down at the Glen pier. It's just dusk.

"It's a lovely walk but it often appears lovelier. There was a bit of an old pinging in the heart. It's a nourishing thing for the soul, though."

He's almost certain about staying or going. He doesn't want to delay.

"I'm not the sort who wants lads coming out to the house asking what I'm doing."

He's talked to Bridie. While his adrenalin is pumping and his head is in football she runs the family. The decision is hers as much as his.

"I said to her: 'if you don't want me to do it, I won't do it'. It takes a great woman to put up with an intercounty manager. A lot of the time you just go home to sleep and then you're gone again. You're agitated and cranky and neglecting things.

"You're annoyed half the time and then you're going off for walks in the wilderness to try to get your head straight. It's not easy for anyone to live with. In fairness, Bridie is very supportive. I think she likes the crack and the buzz as well."

The season dies so abruptly but the head keeps going. He can't sleep well for nights after games. "I lie there wondering should we have gone for broke after last year's All-Ireland and built a new team. Should we have done things differently on Sunday? At the end of the day we tried to do things honestly. We lost to a fantastic side. There's nothing to be ashamed of. "

As the week wore on towards a meeting last night with his selectors little thoughts of next year started trespassing on his mind.

If there is one theme in the history of Gaelic football it is that Kerry always come back. It is a duty of honour, a knightly quest and expression of romantic love. And Jack O'Connor is a Kerryman bound by such things.