Finding solace in the small hours

Ray Houghton, the magician of good times, puts an arm on Mick Mccarthy's shoulder. "I back the manager," says Ray, "what he said. He done the right thing before the game. I wouldn't have played me. He did exactly the same thing I would have done. When he told me I wasn't playing, I didn't argue with him, I told him you were right. Didn't I?"

Mick McCarthy glances backward at his old comrade. "Aye. And I was looking for an argument as well, mate."

Houghton and the 20 journalists gathered here dissolve into laughter. For a moment, it doesn't seem like a wake.

"Isn't it right, though," says Houghton, who will some day manage Ireland. "The manager was right. He did what was right."

He turns to go. A hero leaving on a high note. "I was good for half an hour, though, wasn't I," he says impishly, as he walks "Yeah, but I was worried about extra-time, Ray," calls back his friend and manager.

Mick McCarthy's night comes to an end here in the airport hotel back in Dublin. It is sometime not long after 3.0 a.m. He has a pint of Guinness in front of him which he swirls distractedly as he speaks. His brain is running slow-motion replays of every kick and pass.

In two, three, five years time we will look back on this November night in Brussels and view it with perspective as a beginning. Tonight, though, it has the trappings of an end. There are tears and drink and soft voices.

"When did he do that?" asks Mick McCarthy, when told about Andy Townsend's retirement announcement.

"Immediately after the game? I spoke to himself, Cas and Ray Houghton and just asked them to think about it before they make any decision. With the preparation for the Euro championships, I may want a bit of experience. They all know they won't be around forever, but there might be an occasion when we need them. They didn't want me phoning them up saying thanks, but no thanks. I'm not like that anyway."

There will be time to talk about the hope and the heroism, the clutch of players whom McCarthy has guided through this turbulent transition period. They will serve the team for the next decade. First comes the business of getting through the next winter.

"Yes," says McCarthy, "there is a hard winter ahead. Seriously pissed off for three months I guess."

He lifts his pint. Cheers anyway.

This being a wake, this being the small hours, this being Ireland, we talk about regrets.

"I thought we deserved to win it tonight. We played well, that makes it harder. I can't describe how hard it is actually. The upset will come later. It's not going to be easy."

He isn't at ease sitting here. Journalists wouldn't be his choice of company at the best of times. Indeed, the morbid faces almost define this as the worst of times. Between sentences he swirls his big pint pensively. When he is uncomfortable he taps his front teeth with the nail of his index finger. Tap. Tap Tap. Get on with it.

"Their second goal? I'd like to see it. I believe the throw was ours. The linesman gave it to us, ended up taking the throw and finishing in the back of our net. But I'm not going to get into criticising the referee. It was our throw, he flagged for our throw. Somebody says there was a suggestion of offside, I'm not interested . . . the linesman gave it to us."

That is the micro view. In defeat it is natural to dwell on it. As the cold light of day approaches, the macro view deserves consideration. Perhaps the tie was lost at Lansdowne Road?

"I was waiting for someone to ask us that. We lost tonight, 2-1. It doesn't make it more disappointing that we could have done better in Dublin. I'll reflect upon it at my leisure. We played better tonight. I said we would."

Was it the best performance the team have submitted under his management?

"You fellas tell me. Was it the best? The most pressurised? The hardest? The toughest? Is it this? Is it that? It was a good performance."

He speaks about players. He is assiduous about keeping criticism behind closed doors, but he enjoys talking about the nuts and bolts of the game. He starts with Shay Given. "You can't reassure him. It's hard. My thoughts changed when I saw the players coming in. I was angry and upset and feeling sorry for myself til I saw the players. I felt sorry for them. I've been to a World Cup. I've been there. I changed when I saw the players.

"There is hope. I would say so. In the press conference I was asked that. There were a lot of emotions there, but there was a lot of hope as well in terms of the performance, certainly the performance of young players who are going to be around for a long time.

"Lee Carsley earned a few brownie points. Gary Kelly has been excellent for a year. They were all courageous. They all played well. Mark Kennedy was the most courageous. He came under a lot of scrutiny and a lot of abuse. Because of everything that went with it his performance was excellent.

"David Connolly didn't lose us the game. Didn't cost us the game, but perhaps cost us an opportunity to win the game. Down to 10 men, we still had a right go at it, still shooting in injury-time. I dare say he's learned a valuable lesson."

The chance to absorb the lessons of Brussels and demonstrate the benefits won't be wasted. In the meantime comes the long wait for the European Championships to begin. McCarthy will kick his heels for a little while. Then the work begins again.

"I'd like to see the young players who everybody keeps telling me are wonderful. I'd like a B international. We'll be asked to be cannon-fodder for a couple of World Cup teams. Think this time around we might surprise a couple of them."

The next game is the nourishment of all footballers. The next game is always a blank sheet.

"I think the team has developed as a group of players," he says. "We played well away from home and we've got better. Ask me in a week's time, I might saw `yeah, it's not so bad'."

And with a few words about very dark clouds and silver linings he leaves and goes to be with his team.