Dunne is Dunphy's weakest link

The portents were ominous. The panel looked suitably po-faced, for tidings would not be good. Soccer punditry's equivalent of the Three Wise Men, John Giles, Eamon Dunphy and Liam Brady, bore not the prophecy of victory but instead proved harbingers of doom, gloom and "if we're really lucky", a draw ahead of Saturday's World Cup qualifier between the Republic of Ireland and Portugal at Lansdowne Road.

Anchorman Bill O'Herlihy looked suitably aghast, straining to elicit at least some hope for the viewers. The boys were unmoved: we'd be poxed to get a point and in all honesty Portugal should win. Uncannily accurate. The gremlins even managed to garble the start of a pre-match interview with Ireland manager Mick McCarthy.

The Niall Quinn feature before the start was hardly likely to lift spirits, its cinematic introduction, depicting the Irish hero performing keep-up at training, culminating in a cross that slewed wide of the near post. It was hardly the most inspiring footage as the nation prepared for a battle against the fifth best footballing side in the world.

Hats off to the panel and particularly Dunphy, whose opening gambit on the new partnership at the heart of the Irish defence struck the bull's-eye. "I wouldn't say that the partnership of (Richard) Dunne and (Steve) Staunton is up to this standard at all and it is obviously going to be a vulnerable area."

Brady concurred: "To create a new partnership now against a team of their (Portugal's) level, this is a worry. There is a lack of pace. Steve in getting on in years, Dunne is not the quickest."

Giles pointed out Staunton was not playing regularly with Villa and expressed his reservations about the fledgling defensive axis. If Staunton and Dunne feel slightly miffed about the pre-match dismissal of their merits as a partnership, they shouldn't watch too much footage of the actual game. George Hamilton's cohort in the commentary box Jim Beglin suggested about Staunton's inclusion: "it's a worry how he's going to get along with Richard Dunne. He's fine on his own." Not quite sure what he meant by the last sentence.

By the end of the match, this column was convinced the game had, in fact, kicked off at 10.0 a.m. and the television audience was watching delayed live coverage, given the eerie accuracy of predicted Achilles heels.

Ireland's defending in the first half had a slapstick, Keystone Cops feel to it. Most of it was comical, with Stan Staunton and "Ollie" Dunne, offering a wonderful Laurel and Hardy impersonation: a case of "another fine mess you've got me into". The supporting cast excelled, especially Ian Harte, whose initial ineptitude probably made him wish he'd kept his mouth shut in the run-up to the match.

Brady had agreed with O'Herlihy's pre-game assertion that the disparaging remarks made by Ireland's left back about Luis Figo had been "ill advised". Fortunately for Harte, Figo's finishing didn't match his approach work as he spurned several decent chances and a couple of opportunities that would have had Irish supporters on the verge of tears.

Figo's team-mates were no better as Ireland defended like the local pub team. Hamilton and Beglin were locked in a battle to outdo each other in descriptive terms of just how bad Ireland were in the first half. At one point Beglin ventured: "Richard Dunne was awful, so awkward, cumbersome."

Hamilton's riposte was: "Dunne, where was his mind at that moment?" They agreed the general level of defending was "appalling, awful and that Ireland should have been punished several times over."

When not lamenting the Irish defending, Hamilton concentrated on wrapping his vocal cords around the Portuguese names with relish, screaming Rui (that's Louis with an R) Coshta as the Portuguese midfielder struck the inside of post with a fierce drive: Ireland were certainly taking plenty of stick but it was more rapier-like than bludgeon.

The panel got their incisors into the Irish performance at the interval, Dunphy terrier-like, Giles and Brady more phlegmatic. Brady was the only one who felt the home side might eke out a draw when pushed about the expected outcome before the second half. But Ireland had the wind in the second half and that allied with the substitution of a patently unfit Robbie Keane with Damien Duff was the catalyst for better fortune.

Duff sparkled, twisted and turned, and was punished by heavy challenges. Suddenly, Ireland were a threat - and not to themselves. The boys in the box adopted a more upbeat tone as Portugal dropped deeper, Gary Kelly's throw, the Irish colossus Roy Keane's deflected poke and lordy, lordy, Ireland were in front.

Unfortunately, Figo received an opportunity that didn't require him to shoot and the world's most expensive player's headed equaliser had punished world soccer's cheapest defence, with Stephen Carr an honourable exception. In the first half, Roy Keane received a booking for dissent, thereby guaranteeing he would not now be heading for Estonia.

It drew a rebuke from the commentary team and subsequently some of the panel but, come on, how about the mitigating circumstances? He was simply frustrated that his lexicon of expletives for some of his team-mates had been exhausted. Ireland hung on, rode their luck again in the closing minutes and, mercifully, clung on for a draw.

Mick McCarthy appeared not to be best pleased with his Portuguese counterpart at the end of the game, something to which RTE failed to allude. McCarthy was satisfied with the point, though his reference to "defending superbly" at one stage of the interview beggared belief.

The panel was grateful and the Irish team was probably relieved that the roadshow can move to Tallinn and that the dream had not yet become a nightmare.