Zinedine Zidane plays for Juventus, right? Juventus are owned by some company called IFI, who are controlled by the Agnelli family, who own Fiat, right? Okay, now switch to French telly on New Year's Day and the first showing of an ad for a particular brand of car. ZZ looks at the camera and for 25 seconds he says nothing. Then a caption pops up that says: "It's not what you say, it's what you do." Then? The Ford logo appears. Repeat: Ford. Yep, Zidane has gnawed off a large chunk of the hand that feeds him. Juventus/Fiat say they don't mind but we sense a free transfer to Rushden and Diamonds.