TV VIEW:THE SUMMONS to write the television column can possibly be equated to being called for jury duty. There is a strong likelihood it will happen but when the moment arrives the first inclination is to try to wriggle free.
Last Thursday it appeared the good people of Chorus NTL might have provided an excuse when at 9am the television offered the message, “no signal”. Having anticipated an 11-hour stint on the couch with just the occasional comfort break – a professional attitude is very important – in taking in the first round of the British Open, it was more than a little perplexing to be confronted by a blank screen.
The gist of the ensuing phone call was there were three roads in Dublin experiencing difficulties and these were being addressed by technical staff. The customer was invited to phone back for further updates, suggesting the matter wouldn’t be resolved in the short term. It wasn’t, taking seven hours before the first images of a sun-kissed and becalmed Turnberry materialised. In the interim there was nothing for it but to follow Pádraig Harrington’s quest for a three-peat, as the Americans would say, on BBC Radio Five live.
It was a hugely engaging and enjoyable experience, choc-full of sharp analysis, colourful commentary and humour and sprinkled with quirky features. BBC Radio Five live productions are quality affairs, irrespective of the sport, but for events such as the Ashes, Wimbledon and the British Open they manage to push the bar ever higher.
But back to the television. The proliferation of Scottish burrs amongst the commentary team conjured an image of cracking open a box set of Sean Connery films and playing them for three and a half days. Even those with no Scottish lineage seemed to tweak their accents or at least pronunciation and vocabulary, trousers becoming troosers on more than one occasion.
Speaking of which, what about John Daly’s strides, which should have come with a warning to adjust the TV’s colour palette? Sartorial elegance and golf should never to be used in the same sentence unless someone has a diamond-pattern fetish but the American golfer broached new realms of eccentricity.
Somewhere in Scotland a circus clown is missing a pair of trousers or three.
His two-tone, crushed lime pants on the opening day that accompanied a light green top rendered him almost invisible when he stepped into the rough. It was like watching a pair of shades hit a golf ball. But it was on the Friday Australian commentator, the hugely entertaining Wayne Grady coined the phrase “shagadelic”, to describe trousers that looked like they had come from an Austin Powers movie.
Apparently Daly’s fans vote for the ensemble he’ll wear on a daily basis, proving all concerned have a good sense of humour. Grady certainly does, although there was something of a tumbleweed silence when he suggested Ana Ivanovic, top tennis player and close friend of Adam Scott, “might get a serve tonight”, after a particularly frustrating day for the Australian golfer.
Grady also tut-tutted the notion that players bring their own chefs to houses rented for the Open, recalling when, “we used to try and find a chipper and hope that indigestion didn’t keep you up all night.”
The balance achieved in the commentary box is a hugely important component in guaranteeing BBC’s excellent coverage in an 11-hour marathon for the opening two days. The consistent chopping and changing avoids the danger of the soundtrack to the play becoming laboured or repetitive.
Andrew Cotter enjoyed a more prominent role, the suspicion being he’ll become an increasingly frontline presence. The Scot boasts an excellent voice and his ability to draw jibes from his cohorts behind the microphone for useless bits of non-golfing trivia (stones in the sport of curling used to be hewn from the Ailsa Craig rock but are now made in Wales) makes for easy listening.
Sam “Good Boy” Torrance, Ken Brown, Grady, Mark “Jesse” James join with on-course reporters Paul Eales, Philip Parkin and Maureen Madill to provide a hugely enjoyable package, the Thunderbird-stiff Gary Lineker notwithstanding.
I thought James may have voiced the cartoon character Droopy, but the former Ryder Cup captain’s delivery is positively animated compared to RA rules official Ian Pattinson to whom the commentators defer on points of golfing red tape. Dan Walker’s feature style segments were a welcome addition.
Then there is Peter Alliss. The Beeb have introduced the super “Slomo” camera for replaying shots but also capturing the flora, fauna and wildlife that surround the beautiful Scottish links. Alliss offered the following observation as a gannet prepared to dive into the sea, stunningly captured in slow motion. “Watch him fold back his wings. Do you know what they suffer from in later life? The eyesight goes. Apparently it’s something to do with all that salt water. Then they go into an old birds home, and snuff it.” Not Tom Watson though. There’s nothing wrong with his eyesight.