All In The Game

A Soccer Miscellany

Driving lessons: Mancini prefers Ferraris but may have to settle for a good old Fiat

“If you drive a Ferrari you can win; if you drive a Fiat Cinquecento, probably not.”

– Roberto Mancini on the class of wheels you need to win the Champions League.

“I’ve done the lower leagues and it’s a different style of managing. No disrespect but I don’t want to be Swansea boss, either. Aston Villa? What’s the point? What can you do with them? So it’s the Arsenal or nothing and I’m not ready for that.”

– Tony Adams. Breath easy, Arsene Wenger.

“I’m enjoying it … to have that winning feeling beats struggling in the bottom three of the Premier League. There’s more freedom in the Championship and you’re playing teams who aren’t so good – simple as that. It’s easier.”

– Kevin Doyle, cruising this weather.

“The only thing I know is that we will have 20 legs on the pitch.”

– Italy under-21 coach Devis Mangia, having mislaid his calculator, speaking about the team’s European Championship meeting with Sweden.

“It’s better to be injured than dead.”

– A philosophical enough Bari coach Vincenzo Torrente on the club being docked points for financial irregularities.

“I’m not blowing my own trumpet but I haven’t seen many coaches who are better than me.”

– Harry Redknapp, currently without a job.

“If Mario wants to smoke, it’s his problem. But if he wants my opinion, it is better that he quits. But if he smokes 10 cigarettes a day and scores two goals every game, then that’s better.”

– Roberto Mancini, hoping Mario Balotelli develops a habit for scoring goals.

Constructive lawsuit:  Jose not for walking away

The case brought by Jose Mourinho against Spanish newspaper Marca, the Real Madrid supremo alleging they made defamatory remarks about him in an article.

“This expression is objectively humiliating and the use of it was completely unnecessary to achieve the objective of the article,” said his lawyers. “Mourinho is fully aware of the importance of the right of freedom of expression, and has not and will never take legal action against rightful criticism.”

Mourinho is looking for a retraction and €15,000 in damages. What exactly did they say about him? He’s “the type of person who leaves after causing a car crash”.

Newcastle online: Where the fans never grow up

Merchandise of the Week? That’d be the ‘Adult Onesie’ (or BabyGro, in old money) in the Newcastle United online store.

“This cosy fleece playsuit is ideal for a fun winter’s night in,” they tell us.

It’s “100 per cent polyester” and, mercifully, “slip resistant”, and is available in sizes up to XXXL.

Your mind is boggling, right? Who in their right mind would buy one of these? Well . . .

This item has currently sold out.

Alan: Should have parried 

Not having watched Everton’s game with Newcastle on Monday, we’ll take Football365’s word for this: After Victor Anichebe put Everton 2-1 up in the 88th minute (only for Demba Ba to equalise two minutes later), commentator Alan Parry declared: “For the second time in a week, justice is done on Merseyside.” Oh Alan.

Parting of the ways: Sannino walks the Palermo plank

It was but a week ago that Palermo coach Giuseppe Sannino (right) dismissed talk of him losing his job after a shaky start to the season, even though club president Maurizio Zamparini has a bit of a habit of sacking his men in charge (he got rid of three last season alone).

“I understand it is the job of journalists to go beyond the field and try to stir up stories, but this soap opera of Zamparini being a president who fires everyone has gone on for too long,” said Sannino, although his boss’s comment can’t have reassured him a whole heap: “Is Sannino at risk? I prefer to get drunk rather than answer that question.” Yep, you know what happened next: Sannino was asked to clear his desk.

“If I thought about the money I’ve spent on coaches, I’d feel like shooting myself,” said Zamparini. “It must be more than €10 million because I’ve been firing people for 25 years.” His conclusion? “I am unlucky with coaches.” As they are with him, it has to be said.

Ronaldo still centre stage: On his weight-loss show

Where are they now? Ronaldo (The Brazilian One) is, alas, currently starring in a weight-loss show, the 36-year-old having struggled to keep away from the cream buns since retiring from the game.

He has to endure this misery for 12 episodes, with his entire nation monitoring his progress – or lack of it. Poor lad.

Corinthian high spirits: Ref hit by flip-flops and watch

In yesterday’s Observer David Hills wrote about the match report written by referee Marcelo Aparecido Ribeiro de Souza following a lively affair between Palmeiras and Corinthians in Brazil: “After 22 minutes, several cups of water, some flip-flops and a wristwatch were thrown at me. After 35 minutes, a chair was thrown, but missed. When I sent off Luan for a slap and a kick, he barged me and explained: ‘You thief, I will crush you, you s**t! Bunch of thieves!’”

Very lively. How busy was the referee exactly? This Goal.comgraphic gives you an idea.