Even at a time of spiralling fuel prices and huge increases in the cost of living, it is possible for someone to overspend on clothes, holidays or even just the “little treats” when they can least afford it.
Why? Because an abundance of credit, modern consumer culture, frictionless shopping experiences and a desire to feel control are all working in consort to part you with your money.
And let’s face it, they don’t call it “retail therapy” for nothing.
Had a colossally crap day at work? An online purchase might keep the dopamine going until the package arrives.
Can’t afford to buy a house so why bother even trying? Let’s go to Ibiza.
Wish you could look like the Sheer Luxe girlies? Hmmm, maybe you too can reinvent yourself via this overpriced blazer and a Dyson Air Wrap.
But for some people, what starts out as a way to soothe a dysregulated nervous system can quickly become a form of self-sabotaging behaviour, just like any other addiction.
Only with shopping it’s often dismissed as trivial, a social media-driven phenomenon and perhaps the preserve of the overprivileged.
While compulsive shopping does have a name in psychology (oniomania), it doesn’t have to be at the level of mental illness for people to do real damage to themselves or their finances.
With an abundance of credit and buy-now-pay-later schemes, one can quietly rack up thousands of euro in personal debt.
Enter Paige Pritchard, a 36-year-old Texas-based spending coach and founder of the website Overcoming Overspending.
When it came to moving out of her parents’ house after a year of living rent-free, she realised she couldn’t afford a security deposit.
“My shopping really did kind of become compulsive where I would leave work multiple times a week − like my coworkers would go to lunch and I would go up to the mall − and just casually drop, you know, like a couple hundred bucks on my lunch break.”
When asked by her parents if her lack of ability to fly the nest was because she had been paying off her student loans, Paige had to admit she had a problem.
“It’s like, no, actually, um, I haven’t really made a dent in my loans. I haven’t saved anything. I’ve basically ... like my salary is essentially in my closet right now, and so I just kind of had this, this awakening moment.”
In this episode of Better with Money, Paige explains the psychological and emotional drivers of problem shopping.
“Your mindset is so critically important. It’s that piece underneath the iceberg that often goes unexplored.”
What is the antidote to overspending?
Well, consciousness for one, she believes.
Recognising that influencer culture, the machine of frictionless buying and trying to soothe certain feelings through consumption are a powerful force.
That and the ability to “sit with unmet desire”, as Paige describes it.
Some of you reading this might be wondering, “yeah, but how though?”
You can listen to the episode on the player above or search for Better with Money wherever you get your podcasts.
