The saying "Show me your friends and I'll tell you what you are" may still be told to children when their parents don't like the people they associate with. It certainly was part of the vocabulary of a previous generation.
Parents are always concerned about their children's companions. There is an in-built mechanism in us which makes us shield our children from influences that we may consider harmful.
And of course it makes sense, we want the very best for our families. Everyone knows if young impressionable people "hang around" in "bad company" they in turn will develop the habits of their friends.
Our manner of protecting and caring for our children spreads to every aspect of our lives. It influences where we live, the schools our children attend, even the games they play.
No person in their right senses wants their children to get into "bad company". Every society protects its own children, but the middle class are extremely protective of their offspring. Professional people don't want their children coming home with the habits and dress of the disadvantaged.
You can look at that attitude in another way and say it creates class distinction. If we keep our children apart from the cradle onwards, we will end up with ghetto mentalities. The poor will go to their schools and play their games while the better off go their own way.
The Gospels can sometimes throw us a lifeline when trying to tease out problems like this. In St. Matthew's Gospel we read in 13:24-43 of Jesus using the parable of the good seed and how the weeds grow up among it. But Jesus tells his listeners not to go off at an early stage and weed it. He argues, "When you weed out the darnel you might pull up the wheat with it. Let them both grow till the harvest."
Maybe there is a hint in those lines that very often our attitude towards people and their ways can be far too judgmental. We can easily forget one of the most challenging aspects of the Christian message: we are all made in the image and likeness of God.
Of course there is wrongdoing, people do wrong things. We are all sinners, but it is not for us to stereotype people, it is not our job to point the finger. Yes, we can be clear and unambiguous about wrongdoing but commenting on the vagaries of the human person is another matter altogether.
We develop prejudices about people who do not belong to our club or clique. It is the easiest thing in the world to stick to our labels.
It is a challenge to go out and attempt to discover and understand the other person, irrespective of their accent or where they come from. Nobody expects us to play with fire and be silly in our relationships, but we have an obligation and the privilege of accepting every human being as made in the image and likeness of god.
Prejudice and racism thrive on ignorance. If we are as enlightened as we claim we are, we will have the courage to open our minds and hearts to those who live different lifestyles.
If our way, our lifestyle, is all that it is made out to be, we might even influence others to take on aspects of what we consider significant and good. M.C.