Generally, civilised people avoid triumphalism and excessive celebration of past victories over one-time enemies, now neighbours. Armistice Day commemorates enormous sacrifice in two World Wars. November 11th is not primarily about celebrating the defeat of the Kaiser's Germany.
Important second World War anniversaries are commemorated at 10-year intervals, like the D-Day landings, VE Day and the Warsaw uprising. Care is taken not to offend gratuitously the sensibilities of friends and partners in Germany.
Former British prime minister John Major wrote in his autobiography: "I felt that the 50th anniversary of D-Day, in June 1994, deserved commemorating in a spirit not of chauvinism but of reconciliation . . . It was dignified, moving, and a huge success".
In the same inoffensive spirit, the battle of Trafalgar is being commemorated in its bicentenary year, with Irish, French, Spanish and international naval participation.
On a smaller scale, Ireland remembered the battle of Kinsale on its 400th anniversary in 2001. On a fine September day, a member of the British royal family and the Spanish ambassador were present for a 21-gun salute from Kinsale fort.
The 1798 bicentenary commemorations also tried to be eirenic and reconciling, even at the expense of some historical criticism.
The annual Easter ceremonies at Arbour Hill remember executed leaders, who were the founders of an Irish independent State. Other commemorations, whether at Beal na mBláth or Kilcrumper, are of men who died for their beliefs.
Admittedly, memorials of revolutionary Ireland, like those of revolutionary America, do take some satisfaction that independence was achieved against the might of the world's greatest empire.
Modern republican ceremonies mainly remember those who died on Bloody Sunday or on hunger-strike. We should not begrudge space for such commemorations.
Heroic endurance, like the siege of Derry in 1689, strikes a chord with many. Despite conflict after the Apprentice Boys parade in August 1969, there is today some broader understanding for commemorating an important event in the city's history, by prior agreement between all parties. The undisputed and predominantly nationalist character of Derry keeps the contemporary resonance of even an Orange Order parade to the minimum. It is a welcome example of how tolerance and respect can grow.
There is no parallel anywhere for the North's marching season, and the obsessive perennial commemoration for months of a 300-year-old victory at the Boyne.
Parades are not always conducted with dignity, or that often in a spirit of reconciliation. They are not dedicated to the memory of the dead, but celebrate a Protestant victory over Catholic Ireland, which the Orange Order each year is determined to rub into the consciousness of some neighbouring or adjoining Catholic community. Unionist politicians agitate if the Parades Commission tries to redirect their plans.
No phenomenon is more alien to contemporary Britain. Has the Orange Order never wondered why such ostensibly loyal demonstrations, loudly proclaiming the Protestant faith, have not been patronised by members of the British royal family since the unpopular duke of Cumberland went to reign in Hanover in 1837?
Why would no member of the British government dream of attending an Orange parade? Why do respected Protestant church leaders round the world not go near such events?
The Orange Order is regarded by many other co-religionists, North and South, as tarnishing the Protestant tradition in Ireland. There is little evidence of a will to modernise, adapt or reform.
Yet, despite troublemakers, the Orange Order contains numbers of honourable, upright, conscientious and law-abiding people, who would be personally tolerant and charitable. There have even been Orangemen, identifying patriotically with Ireland, who opposed the Act of Union, and who helped found the Home Rule party.
Will any orator at this year's parades remember in its centenary year the Magheramorne Manifesto of 1905 of the Independent Orange Order, drafted by the Grand Master R Crawford and by TH Sloan?
It appealed to a common Irish nationality, for the putting aside of political differences, and for people to work together "in the school, in the workshop and in the Senate, in the proportion of what has been long neglected, the national interests of our native land, and the increased wealth and happiness of our people". It was issued in a different context, but arguably one that has now partially re-emerged under the Good Friday agreement.
Parnell once famously said: "No man has the right to fix the boundary of a nation." The Orange Order certainly hasn't and won't. The ordeal and impact of 30 years of Troubles, which hit members of the Protestant community, among others, very hard, has lessons for everybody.
The North's problems will not be solved by attacking Orange parades, even though they ought only to go where they are welcome, and otherwise by agreement and consent. Nor is the Orange Order any answer to terrorism and disaffection.
It is not, unfortunately, an instrument of peace and reconciliation underpinning the new agreement.
The Irish Government is properly restoring the Boyne battle site in the hope that a more constructive attitude to history and tradition all round will gradually prevail.
The Irish State can trace aspects of its lineage from both sides. Transcending historical differences, without having to repudiate respective traditions, is what peace-making is all about.