Sir, - My partner and I met in our final years in college, and in the 12 years we have been together, we have had friends meet, get married and, in some cases, separate and divorce. In the past 12 years we have endured persistent questions as to when we were getting married, as if we were not quite sure of each other, or were possibly waiting until someone better came along. Recent remarks by some clergymen about Ms Celia Larkin's presence at the State reception are hurtful to anyone in any such a stable and happy relationship.
The persistence of the belief or the pretence that a wedding can be the only possible validation of a relationship, as though marriage is the only proof of love or fidelity, is facile and intrusive. Those of us who have chosen not to take the white dress, tiered cake, sit-down-dinner-for-a-hundred route do not need Martin Mansergh's pleas not to judge us. We are not on trial. - Yours, etc.,
Annaba Kilfeather, North Strand, Dublin 3.