Sir, – There has been a great deal of emotional reaction to the Tuam mother-and-baby burial story. I welcome the reporting and analysis by Rosita Boland and Patsy McGarry (June 7th). The actual situation doesn’t elicit the mass hysteria generated by the mis-reporting of the “septic tank” mass graves.
There is no doubt that we are justifiably ashamed of our treatment of unwed mothers and their babies in the past, when they were conveniently hidden away in Victorian buildings. But we need to remember that it was members of the Catholic Church who initiated the change in our treatment of these women.
In the 1960s and 1970s a Dominican priest, the late Fr Fergal O’Connor, set up the organisation “Ally”, which sought to move single pregnant women out of mother-and-baby homes and into family placements.
This was the first effort to remove stigma and shame from women who found themselves pregnant out of wedlock. I played a small part in this work by agreeing to host some young women who were placed in our family by a religious sister (a professional social worker) employed by the diocesan social service centre in Limerick.
Mostly it worked out well in that the single pregnant women acted as an au pair in exchange for her board and keep. With some we developed a lasting friendship. However, the situation depended on mutual respect and a guarantee of absolute confidentiality.
Over 21 girls and women came to live with us from 1971 until 1985; by then the necessity of hiding away began to change.
My experience of more than 21 women who varied in age, education, class and background was that each of them cared passionately for the unborn child.
The majority concluded, after much soul-searching, without coercion, that the best option for the child would be adoption.
Could it be that adopted babies sometimes did get a better deal in life as a result of the mother’s choice? Could it be that at present some are keeping babies that do not get a good deal from that choice? Are there social pressures now that push people towards poor outcomes for children?
Change starts at the margins with quiet work, often in the background. – Yours, etc,
STEPHANIE WALSH,
Newport,
Tipperary.
Sir, – The Irish Catholic Bishops Conference (“Apology for stigmatisation of unmarried mothers”, Home News, June 11th) has apologised “for hurt caused by the church” in terms of its role in society’s “culture of isolation and social ostracising” of unmarried mothers. Again they refuse to accept full responsibility when they add “unmarried mothers were often judged, stigmatised and rejected by society, including the church”. These bishops know full well it was the Catholic Church who created that society and made the rules. – Yours, etc,
JOHN T KAVANAGH,
Braemor Road,
Dublin 14.