Exploration of candidates' fracking theories offers potential for great gas

NEWTON'S OPTIC:IN TODAY'S Irish Times presidential debate, we ask all seven candidates how they feel about fracking for gas in the Bog of Allen:

GAY MITCHELL

I realise this technology is slightly controversial but as president I will want to do everything I can to encourage growth. Now, excuse me a moment, I’m just getting an urgent tweet from Phil Hogan. He says the word “growth” could be offensive to people with growths.

Oh God, you don’t think I’ve offended people with growths, do you? If I have I sincerely apologise. I assure you my intentions were completely benign.

MARTIN McGUINNESS

These shale gas deposits exist on an all-Ireland basis, with exploration taking place in Co Fermanagh as well as here in the 26-county transitional jurisdiction.

I’m told the wells are drilled some distance horizontally and the resulting seams extend even further, meaning a well head in the North could be tapping gas from the South and vice-versa. As an Irish republican I believe this can drive real change across the island. When Sinn Féin tries to muscle in on the protests, we’ll do it on both sides of the Border.

DANA

If I had my way, there’d be no fracking of any description.

DAVID NORRIS

It is true that I have written several letters to the mining companies begging them not drill without consent.

However, I’ve been advised not to publish any of those letters as they are full of unwitting innuendo. I can’t really go into any more detail than that but I do have a vision for gas and it mostly involves me being a gas. Will that do? It’s always done up to now.

SEÁN GALLAGHER

There is obviously a great deal of concern about contamination, so let me assure you that I left Fianna Fáil years ago. There are also fears about seismic disturbances but that's really Fianna Fáil's problem now as well. Since leaving Fianna Fáil, which let's say I did in 1974, I have set up a small house-wiring company and appeared on Dragons' Den, so I know exactly how to deal with a multinational energy conglomerate.

MARY DAVIS

If this is going to be handled properly we’ll need some sort of advisory group, a strategic oversight authority, a development commission, a commissioning board, a specialist regulatory agency, a dedicated safety inspectorate, a tribunal panel, perhaps a new planning body for the whole seven-county area in the Lough Allen basin and – well, you can probably tell where I’m going with this.

MARTIN McGUINNESS

Did I mention fracking has been banned in South Africa, the country recently run by my good friend Nelson Mandela? It’s also been suspended in England, and I’ll be willing to discuss that with Queen Elizabeth at my earliest convenience.

MICHAEL D HIGGINS

I don’t think it’s wise to do anything too specific about the gas. As far as I can see it will all emerge eventually of its own accord, so I’m inclined to just sit back and let things play out the way nature intended. But while we’re waiting I might say a few words about values, commitment, social cohesion and so on, until I hear the first faint hiss.