Breda O’Brien: The world must tackle the epidemic of loneliness

William McCarthy (also known as Liam) died a very lonely death in his home with his brother Daniel, who had already died. Predictably, it raises questions about the role of communities in looking after the elderly, particularly those with a disability such as deafness.

The McCarthy brothers, originally from Kerry, had lived in the Millrose estate in Bluebell, Dublin for decades. Daniel apparently took the lead in looking after his brother. From first reports, it seems that after Daniel died, Liam did not know what to do or whom to contact.

Although many deaf people are well integrated into their communities, it can be a very isolating disability. There is a strong Irish deaf community, and the brothers apparently attended the masses said by Fr Gerry Tyrell, a very devoted chaplain who has learned to sign.

However, those who take the trouble to learn basic sign language even in public services are few and far between. Despite the high numbers of people who are deaf, there is no statutory obligation to facilitate them.

The Irish deaf community has pushed hard for the provision of more services, including support for those living alone. They believe that Irish sign language should be recognised as an official language, which would ensure that public servants would have to provide services for the deaf.

It is also true that some older people take a fierce pride in being independent, something that works well for them until a crisis hits.

Closely guarded

Privacy was closely guarded by many in the older generation, and letting others know your business was taboo, something that is incomprehensible to younger generations who live their lives on social media.

At least the brothers had someone who was concerned enough to raise the alarm. In Japan, deaths of the elderly who live alone and who are not discovered for long periods have become almost commonplace. There is a term to describe it: kodokushi – the lonely deaths.

Figures vary from 3,700 “unaccompanied deaths” (2013 figures from Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare) to 30,000 kodokushi a year (according to Tokyo academic Dr Yasuyuki Fukukawa.)

The majority are single men, but there have also been cases involving a carer and a dependant. While Japan’s culture has arisen from very particular circumstances, there are trends there that should worry all western societies.

There are more adult incontinence pads sold in Japan than babies’ nappies. Currently, one in four citizens is over 65. By 2060, that is expected to rise to 40 per cent of the population.

A disastrously low birth rate coupled with almost non-existent levels of immigration means that Japan’s population is shrinking by a million a year. Traditional bonds of family, faith and community have become much weaker.

Single-person households are becoming more and more common. As a result, Japan is at the forefront of some very unusual industries.

For example, there are companies which specialise in cleaning apartments after a decomposed body has been found. These businesses are thriving.

‘Baby’ robot

Japan is also a world leader in robotics. Just this week, a tiny palm-sized “baby” robot was unveiled, designed to appeal to childless couples.

The Kirobo Mini is undeniably cute. It wobbles like a seated baby that has not quite mastered the art of balance, and speaks in a high-pitched tone designed to mimic a very small child. It can learn to recognise and respond to carers and comes complete with a cradle which fits into the cup-holder in a car.

Japan has also been at the forefront of creating robotic devices designed to soothe elderly patients, including a baby seal that responds to sounds and expresses pleasure when stroked.

It is all sort of sad, if not a little creepy. Normal human interactions are being outsourced to intelligent robots, but is that any kind of solution?

You could argue that Japan’s culture is unique, but who could not agree that the western world is not becoming a lonelier place, too?

George Monbiot, the environmental activist, wrote an influential article some years ago about an epidemic of loneliness in the West, an epidemic which is fundamentally at odds with the densely connected way humans have lived for millennia.

Extreme individualism

He believes that our culture, which celebrates extreme individualism and universal competition, has led to the kind of loneliness that kills as many people as smoking or obesity.

While we tend to focus on the loneliness experienced by the elderly, there is also a similar epidemic among the young. So many young people are just longing for someone who really “gets” them.

At the same time, they are surrounded by images – carefully edited images – of others apparently living highly fulfilled and interconnected lives.

Social media can create a window into other people’s existences, but unless it is mirrored by equally strong connections in the real world, it can serve to exacerbate rather than ameliorate loneliness.

Ultimately, loneliness is relieved when people make time for the simple things – for a smile, a chat, an exchange of written notes with a neighbour who is deaf.  Sometimes these efforts will not bear fruit, but for many people, they will constitute a lifeline in a literal way.