The Last Straw: As fears about electronic voting continue to fester, it amazes me that nobody in the Government has yet mentioned the reassuring example of a piece of technology that has worked perfectly and without a complaint for years now.
It too relates to voting, albeit indirectly, and it's situated right outside Leinster House. I refer, of course, to the pedestrian traffic light in Dublin's Kildare Street.
The light is apparently a pilot project. Certainly, it's the only one I know of in the city centre that works. But the software has more than proven itself at this stage, and it's surely time it was "rolled out" - as they say - countrywide. In the meantime, the light has become one of Dublin's cult tourist attractions. Most people don't know about it. School groups visit Leinster House every day, apparently oblivious to the technological wonder outside the gate.
This may be due to the fact that there has never been a promotional campaign to tell the public how the light works. In fact, although it can be a bit intimidating at first, the system is foolproof. You simply approach the traffic-light pole nearest you (there are two to choose from) and locate a large silver button, around waist level. This is rather like the "return" key on a computer keyboard. And when you press it - as if by magic - the lights change, instantly.
Admittedly, unlike computer voting in a PR system, the options offered by the technology are few. There are only two choices, really. You can cross the street when the green man appears, or you can stay where you are, infuriating the drivers who you've forced to stop. This is a bit like spoiling your vote. In practice, most people will cross when the green man comes on, sometimes - if they're new to the system - checking the lights nervously as they walk, in case this is some kind of trap.
The link to voting is that this pedestrian light was originally designed to facilitate TDs and senators rushing across from their offices in Kildare House when the division bell rang. But perhaps due to a bug in the software, it works in both directions! So you can escape Leinster House as quickly as you got in.
Critics of the Kildare Street light say that it takes the fun out of crossing the street by the traditional method of waiting for a gap in the traffic and then running for your life. When you get used to the electronic system, though, it takes some beating. Besides, the traditional, risk-based method of street-crossing is still available everywhere else in Dublin. Nowhere better than at College Green, near this newspaper's offices.
As I've pointed out before, the pedestrian buttons there and at most city-centre traffic lights are placebos. They just help you pass the time while waiting. And for years, their success in passing the time has been based on the widespread superstition that there may be a secret formula that makes them work. Even now, at College Green, you'll see normally sophisticated people pressing the buttons, apparently in hope. Some do so repeatedly, trying different combinations in the belief that they'll hit the right one eventually.
Increased access to third-level education has undermined this belief. Which may be why the authorities have begun introducing counters at traffic lights, giving up-to-date tallies on when the green man will return, in an attempt to introduce transparency to the process. But the underlying system remains the same. Essentially, pedestrian buttons create the illusion that you can change something (democracy uses a similar principle).
This is why the Kildare Street button is so popular with those who use it. Sure, you can go out to the suburbs and press a button and maybe the lights will change immediately. But chances are there'll be no cars on the road anyway, and where's the fun in that? Only in Kildare Street can you stop traffic, on a whim, during Friday rush-hour, and cause tailbacks as far away as the Enfield bypass. The sense of power is dizzying.
Maybe it's not surprising that the Government is keeping quiet about it, despite its potential to reassure the public about e-voting. Yet, for me, the Kildare Street pedestrian light is a glimpse of a glorious future, when everything is fully functional - the LUAS, the Port Tunnel, the Metro, the Flying Pig terminal at Dublin Airport - and where you can change governments at the touch of a button.
I believe we should grasp this future with both hands. As for the lights at College Green, I believe we should grasp those with both hands, too, and shake really hard. You never know: it might just work.
