Dáil Sketch: Marie O'Halloran There was a whiff of pre-election bonanzas about the Dáil yesterday. Or certainly Fine Gael gave that impression when the vexed issue of nursing home charges was raised.
Enda Kenny wanted to know how much the refunds to some 60,000 patients or their estates would cost: would it be €500 million, €1 billion or more.
The Taoiseach estimated the cost at €850 million and said the scheme should be "up and running" fully next year.
At which point Fine Gael's Padraic McCormack asked astutely: "Will it be paid before the election?"
"It will take some years," replied the Taoiseach neutrally. "Yes it will be paid before the election," interpreted Padraic, and an image arose of all those bonanza SSIA accounts maturing at the same time.
Pat Rabbitte went on the attack, his target the former minister for health. "Your only defence is that you did not read the briefing document," he challenged Micheál Martin. "You should have lost your job. If you had an ounce of respect for your office you would tender your resignation."
In the melee of voices the very angry minister retorted that he was wrong and that he had only one agenda.
When the Taoiseach suggested the cost could well go to €1 billion, Padraic McCormack, a new pretender to the heckling throne said "the minister is getting his payback".
"Somebody should quieten that poltroon," said the current champion heckler Willie O'Dea.
But Pat was not to be deflected and quoting a US senator said that "a billion here and a billion there and soon you are talking big money".
"That's very funny," said Willie. "We get value for money while the Labour party had no such success." That prompted the Labour leader to a nursery rhyme: "Wee Willie Winkle runs through the town. Upstairs, downstairs in his nightgown." That in turn prompted uproar and a retort from Willie: "You're the Woody Allen of Marxism." Sinn Féin's Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin then asked about resources in the Disability Bill. Legislation relating to the horse and greyhound industry ring-fenced revenue in that industry and wasn't it just as important to ringfence the needs of people with disability, he said.
"Where's Shergar" asked Willie O'Dea to huge laughter.
Even Caoimhghín smiled when he suggested that "Generalissimo O'Dea might be riding it off into the hills".
When the Taoiseach gave a reply the Sinn Féin deputy kept intervening.
The Ceann Comhairle had had enough. "If the deputy opens his mouth once more he will leave the House." Caoimhghín couldn't resist: "I will not give you that satisfaction." The Ceann Comhairle: "Very well. Deputy Ó Caolaíwill leave the House."