The moneymen's effortless optimism was incongruous on a day full of bad tidings, writes Miriam Lord
GOING FORWARD, The Bankers had a wonderful welcome for themselves. They are supposed to be business rivals, but to a man they sang from the same hymn sheet in Leinster House yesterday. All they do is lend money to people. What's wrong with that? They are caring and sensitive. They didn't cause the property bubble. They will never let a Northern Rock situation happen here.
But The Bankers are worried. There is a "negative sentiment" about Ireland doing the rounds which is not "borne out by the fundamentals" going forward.
While there may be a bit of a squeeze on at the moment, it's nothing to write home about. Everything is fine.
Assorted suits from AIB, Bank of Ireland, Anglo Irish Bank and Permanent TSB were before the Joint Oireachtas Committee on Finance and the Public Service. They were hauled in to be told how they have become too parsimonious with their money now that The Recession is biting.
Labour's Joan Burton summed up the mood of the meeting when she asked the assembled moneymen: "Now that things are difficult in this country, are the bankers going to show some sense of responsibility?" The Bankers were deeply sympathetic, but short of giving us the hand-stitched shirts off their backs, what more could they do? "Deputy, at the end of the day, we are business people," said the man from AIB.
The Bankers were upbeat, in contrast to the general mood around Leinster House.
Money was the topic of the day.
In the Dáil, Taoiseach Cowen warned of financial pain around the corner, although he is confident his Government will "devise a strategy going forward". Next door, The Bankers were united in their strategy: "We are still very much open for business." Across the road, nightclub workers and proprietors were protesting against proposed changes in the licensing laws. They fear they won't be open for business much longer if they have to close earlier.
More talk of pain and money.
To Merrion Street, where the mandarins issued their mid-year exchequer returns. They tried to sound as optimistic as The Bankers, but couldn't quite pull it off.
The Department of Finance locked Minister Brian Lenihan in a broom cupboard for the duration of the press conference. This was for his own safety. This was an afternoon out for the massed economic eggheads of the media, who love nothing more than a good session of doom and gloom followed by a nice wallow in a fiscal black hole.
The country is in a bad way, although the department does not want to stand accused of spreading negative sentiment. But we are running a bit of a shortfall.
Or as one civil servant put it: "There has been a little bit of up and down." So how bad is it? The officials were just laying out the figures. They are not allowed to comment on Government policy. However, "if nothing is changed we won't be on target". It was very gloomy. Brian's blade is about to start slicing.
Yet, if his department thought it was helping to manage expectations - which is what Taoiseach Cowen and his lieutenants have been doing in these past weeks - it will not have been happy with what was going on next door in Government Buildings.
As they prepared to break the bad news, the social partners were gearing up for talks. Before discussions began, the participants were informed that there was a change to the published programme. With that, Brian Cowen, Mary Coughlan and Brian Lenihan (before he was locked in the cupboard) swept in and told the union leaders that straitened times lay ahead.
They couldn't say exactly what corrective measures they will have to take, as the Taoiseach has to tell the Dáil about them first on Tuesday. However, they stressed, things aren't looking great.
So the union Unite immediately lobbed in a claim for a 5 per cent pay rise to keep pace with inflation. There's confidence.
Meanwhile, there was great excitement across from Government Buildings in the Merrion Hotel. No signs of retrenchment there.
It turned out that fashion makeover experts Trinny and Susannah were in town, occasioning almost as much media excitement as The Recession.
Now there's a pair who could teach us a thing our two about belt tightening.