Close to the bone writing here, really off-the-wall stuff concerning the down-at-heel Eagle Hotel in Liverpool and its new night porter, Ted Hamilton. Ted's a good sort, really. All he wants to do is mind his own business and make his girlfriend Nancy pregnant. But Claudia, the chambermaid, is being harassed. And bigoted old soldier Harry has got himself involved with the supremacist movement White Light, putting the hotel's manager, Mr J. Devlin in a bind. And what can one make of Alf Speed, the removals man with a weakness for sleeping in other people's beds? Ted copes all right while eccentricity reigns, but then things turn nasty and more drastic action is called for. The Long Snake Tattoo moves at a frantic pace, exhibits a rare verbal dexterity and is totally outrageous.