Taking rage off the road and onto the shopfloor

Christmas's shop-till-you-drop attitude is fast being replaced by rage, but Ed Power has some advice

Christmas's shop-till-you-drop attitude is fast being replaced by rage, but Ed Power has some advice

Boom or no boom, we're splurging like never before this Christmas. Unfortunately, the season of goodwill can bring out the worst in over-stressed shoppers. Our tempers surge, our humour sours, our tolerance of fellow shoppers fizzles away.

They take forever to use ATMs, block your path as you dash for the last bus and unfurl dripping umbrellas in your face - and never, ever, say sorry. It's enough to stir the meekest soul into a homicidal frenzy.

Just ask the family of José Galvan, the Houston mechanic bludgeoned to death in his local Walmart last year after a row with another customer boiled over. But, of course, you don't have to visit the US to witness "shop rage" first hand. All you need do is pop down to the nearest shopping centre.

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"This Christmas is the worst I can remember - this year's lot are the rudest I have seen," reports a long-suffering assistant at one of Dublin's more ostentatious shopping centres.

"Some of them will do anything to get to the front of a queue. They shove, push and scream all sorts. And if they can't find what they want, like, right away, they treat you like dirt. The language I've heard, you wouldn't believe. I didn't know people were capable of such nastiness. And this is supposed to be the season of goodwill."

And it's not going to improve. Jervis Shopping Centre announced this week it was recording similar numbers of shoppers to last year, with 400,000 people passing through its doors last week. For

the month of December and early January, staffing at the centre increases 26 per cent, from 1,480 to 2,000.

What is it about Christmas that so frazzles consumers? Sure, the shops are overcrowded, the weather is wretched and everything costs too much. But isn't that the way of it all year round nowadays?

"Christmas stresses people out because they have an idealised vision of what it should be like - and they become angry and frustrated if they feel they are somehow failing to live up to that ideal," says Fionnula MacLiam, counsellor and behavioural therapist.

"We expect perfection of ourselves and those close to us. We scour shops looking for that perfect gift, plan for a flawless Christmas dinner, count on things to proceed with clockwork efficiency. And when it inevitably doesn't work out the way we imagined it would, we get angry - and sometimes we take that out on others."

She advises short-fused shoppers to plan ahead - and adopt realistic goals. You are unlikely to find time to buy all your presents in a single evening - so why set off planning to? Pace yourself by taking regular time-outs, such as stopping for coffee. Above all, resist the temptation to inflict your bad humour on others. In the long run, it will only deepen your own misery.

"Being rude may give you some instant satisfaction but eventually you are probably going to feel guilty - so you'll just end up feeling twice as miserable as before. And of course, if you are rude to someone, there is a much greater possibility of them being rude to you in return. So the whole thing can start to escalate," adds MacLiam.

The increase in shop rage is linked to our increased reliance on retail therapy as a release valve from the pressures of career and family, says psychotherapist Andy Sullivan.

"Going to the shops and blowing some money on nice, shiny things that we perhaps could really do without has become a way of letting off steam. We regard shopping as a harmonious experience. So when our expectations are interrupted, many of us will lash out."

Should the pre-Christmas rush begin to test your sanity, breathe deep and take a step back he advises.

"Try to dissociate yourself from the hubbub. It is a good idea to bring a book or a personal stereo with you or to buy a newspaper or magazine. Find a quiet corner, even if it is just a bench in a busy shopping centre, and allow a few moments to distance yourself from what is going on around you. Don't forget - it is only Christmas and not a matter of life or death. Or at least it shouldn't be," adds Sullivan.

But if you must pick a row, heed the comments of one Cork store assistant. "Verbal abuse is most common. But recently two women started shoving each other - only for one's husband to turn up and get involved. They'd obviously been to the pub beforehand and had taken a few drinks because one of them fell over, and brought half a shop display down with her. It was funny to watch - but she ended up picking up the bill."