'Sooty and Sweep' offer little in way of hope

It was an unusual message of hope, to put it mildly. Very tough times lie ahead, said Brian Cowen

THE YANKS got Barack Obama and Aretha Franklin.

We didn’t.

They got hope and laughter and the dream of a new beginning.

We didn’t.

They got music and poetry and a joyous diversion.

We didn’t.

Never mind. When the wheels come off the wagon, expectations plummet faster than the back axle. Thankfully, we don’t expect much these days.

But it’s always best to look on the bright side as Brian Cowen demonstrated yesterday. Swept up in the great wave of optimism brought about by the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States, Cowen made a rare effort to cheer his disconsolate people.

It was an unusual message of hope, to put it mildly. Very tough times lie ahead, said Brian.

We will all have to make sacrifices and “not allow the full burden of adjustments” to fall on the less fortunate.

Yet even though the country is going through “turmoil” at present, things could be far, far worse.

“In our time, on an island at peace, no-one will be asked to lay down their life for their country, as the generation we celebrate today did,” declared the Taoiseach in a speech marking the 90th anniversary of the first meeting of Dáil Éireann.

You can’t say fairer than that.

Yes, you may lose your job, house, savings, car, salary, overtime, medical card, carer’s allowance, tax relief, marbles . . . but be of good cheer. The Government promises that, no matter how bad it gets, they won’t shoot anyone.

The scenes in the Mansion House back in 1919 must have been far more exciting than they were at the commemoration yesterday morning. No musical interludes or poetry or jobbing actors in trench coats and trilbys wandering around pretending they had guns in their waistbands.

In fact, the highlight of this po-faced affair was Cowen’s pledge that citizens will not be called upon to lay down their lives for the bottom line.

Green Party leader John Gormley seemed happy, though. “Let today be the beginning of a real debate on where we are going as a society,” he cried, basking in the glow of his originality.

Then everyone trooped back across to Leinster House, for a few hours of what passes for real debate these days.

The Government is very concerned about confidence in the banks. Everyone else is concerned about confidence in the Government. The big question is whether the Government has confidence in the Government.

The jury is still out on that one.

Yesterday being a historic day, the Dáil came back a week early so legislation could be passed to nationalise Anglo Irish Bank. The Opposition was dead against this, but Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan and Cowen were determined to push it through.

They sat together like Sooty and Sweep, both denying they are puppets of the banks and both denying they have been trying to brush embarrassing financial information under the carpet.

It was in the country’s interest to pass the Bll as quickly as possible, said Cowen.

It had to be done for “clarity and certainty”. Which would be something of a milestone for Biffo.

Speaking of clarity, former taoiseach Bertie Ahern hobbled into the chamber on his crutches for the vote – the ghost of goodtimes past.

It seems like an age since he assured the country, on the cusp of collapse, that “the boom times are getting even more boomer”.

Today, the outlook appears bleak. Sooty and Sweep offer little in terms of hope or solutions.

Sooty Lenihan’s turgid pronouncements were particularly difficult to endure. He should have taken a leaf from Bertie’s book and told us “the bust times are getting even more busty”.

It didn’t really matter what Lenihan told the Opposition. It wasn’t of a mind to believe him. “You come in here and say ‘trust me’ and when you change your mind you say ‘trust me’ again,” snorted Pat Rabbitte.

Sooty and Sweep’s alarming propensity for changing their minds takes on a frightening dimension when viewed against the Taoiseach’s declaration that people won’t be asked to make “the ultimate sacrifice”.

“I’m very unhappy. Very unhappy,” said Enda Kenny.

“The Labour Party needs no lecture and no sort of pious homily from the Taoiseach in relation to banking and the economy” snorted Eamon Gilmore.

“We should walk out of Opposition and we should not take part in this sham,” huffed Fine Gael’s Seán Barrett.

There was a team of advisers from the Department of Finance camped outside the chamber for the debate. They sat in a little anteroom, mountains of files on their knees, whispering into their mobile phones. They took turns to sit in a specially reserved section beside the Minister.

This heightened the impression that nobody is quite sure what turn this banks crisis might take.

The Government isn’t too keen to harp on about past problems. But what about Seán FitzPatrick, his high-ranking banking brethren and their cavalier approach to minding other peoples’ money? What is the real story with Anglo Irish Bank – once “the darling child of the Celtic Tiger”, as Labour’s Joan Burton put it. They weren’t going to hear it yesterday.

“We’re here to represent the taxpayer, who will end up paying the bill if this all goes wrong,” argued Gilmore, not unreasonably, as Lenihan and Cowen continued to insinuate that anyone who questions them is acting unpatriotically.

The debate rolled on, slowly. The chamber cleared. Leinster House went quiet. The televisions went on. All eyes were on Washington.

Tears welled in cynical eyes as Barack Obama swore his oath of office on Abe Lincoln’s Bible. Back in the chamber – was anyone listening – Barrett was calling the debate “an absolute disgrace”. “Let us endure what storms may come. May we not falter,” came the strong, clear voice of Obama.

“The chickens in the Galway tent are now firmly coming home to roost” said Sinn Féin’s Arthur Morgan.

And so it went.

At 5.30, the Taoiseach sent his best wishes to President Obama.

His inaugural address offered inspiration to us all, said Cowen.

As Barack, son of America, Moneygall and the world might say: that’s the audacity of hope for ya.