A glance at the week that was
The Gruffalo – I think he must be a member of Fianna Fáil -Labour leader Eamon Gilmore, reading to children at a campaign stop on Wednesday
My lovely horse
The president of Turkmenistan has decreed that the country shall host beauty contests for horses every April. President Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov believes the Akhal-Teke breed, which features in Turkmenistan’s national emblem and is often given as a gift to foreign leaders, should be celebrated “to promote the glory of the heavenly racehorse worldwide”. There will be awards for the best carpet featuring the breed, the best “holiday attire” for horses, and best portrait and sculpture.
Super nan
A British grandmother successfully disrupted a gang’s robbery attempt by lashing out at them with her handbag. Ann Timson, who is 71, was captured on video clobbering three thieves armed with sledgehammers at a jewellery shop shop in Northampton, England. Timson mistook the raid for a fight and claimed her “mother’s instinct kicked in”. When she realised it was a robbery, she was even angrier. “I landed several blows against one lad . . . and brought him to the ground,” she said. “It seemed to be over in seconds.”
The numbers
£5,760 - The price that artist Jack B Yeats’s last sketch, drawn while he lay dying, fetched at auction.
€17.6bn - Anglo Irish Bank’s reported loss in 2010, setting a new record in Irish corporate history.
79 - The number of unprovoked shark attacks on humans in 2010, the highest number in a decade.
We now know
Barack Obama has gone a year without smoking, according to his wife, Michelle.
The UK’s Press Complaints Commission has ruled that messages posted on Twitter are not private.
Christina Aguilera fluffed a line of The Star-Spangled Bannerwhile opening the Super Bowl.
Next week you'll need to know all about . . . the Champions League
What's so important about next week?The Champions League's knockout stages see the final 16 teams paired off to compete for the highest honour in club football. With five of the teams' managers having previously won it themselves, the quality of football is such that no side is guaranteed straightforward passage to the final, in May.
How it worksThe tournament begins with 32 teams, divided into eight groups, which have qualified from leagues across Europe. Teams reach the knockout stage by finishing in the top two of their group, with group winners now playing runners-up. Each tie, apart from the final, is played over two legs, with the side with the higher aggregate score progressing to the next round.
Ones to watchThe first heavyweight fixture is on Tuesday, with AC Milan hosting Tottenham Hotspur. This is the farthest Spurs have ever made it in the competition, but they won't be intimidated by another trip to the San Siro, having pipped Inter Milan to top their qualifying group. Barcelona visit Arsenal the following night, which will have added interest as the Catalan side announced this week they have no plans to bid for Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas, a transfer that was the subject of intense speculation last summer.
Who's likely to make the final?All eyes will be on Real Madrid, as manager José Mourinho joined the side with the explicit intention of winning the Champions League with a third club. However, Mourinho is banned for the first match (against Lyon), following a disciplinary measure. Given the changes in the English teams' fortunes since the Champions League group stage ended, two months ago, with Chelsea and Manchester United in particularly erratic form, they have rarely reached the knockout phase in such varied condition. It all makes the tournament tantalisingly unpredictable.
Give me a crash course in . . . 'debt forgiveness'
BANK OF Scotland has become the first bank that is willing to restructure the debt of some property owners in Ireland who are in negative equity.
What's this I hear about Bank of Scotland letting people off their mortgages?Sadly, it's not letting people off their mortgages, but it has become the first retail bank in the State to admit – albeit in the vaguest of terms – it is willing to restructure the debts of some people it lent money to during the boom years. While it is still its policy to pursue debtors for all money owed, it seems prepared to talk about some degree of debt forgiveness with "bonafide" customers in "exceptional circumstances".
What's a bonafide customer in exceptional circumstances, when it's at home (in a house owned by BoS)?The people who the bank appears most willing to negotiate with are buy-to-let property investors who find themselves so mired in negative equity that the chances of them ever escaping from debt and clearing their loans are remote.
Did BoS not leave Ireland last year?Yes, it left the Irish market but it still has to manage all the mortgages it gave out – the loan book is being managed by a company made up of former bank employees. During the good times, Bank of Scotland was one of the most enthusiastic devotees of the tracker mortgage.
I don’t know what a tracker mortgage is. Don’t be ridiculous, everyone knows what a tracker mortgage is now. The days when it was okay to stand up in a bus and declare your ignorance are long gone.
Why is the bank willing to do deals now?Because it makes cold, hard, economic sense. Many of the bank's tracker customers are paying around 2.5 per cent interest on their loans, which are tied to the ECB rate (at historically low levels). The bank, however, is paying a lot more than that to borrow the money from other banks. BoS wants rid of these costly loans and unless it is reduces the capital owed to incentivise investors to sell, they will hang around. By negotiating, the bank takes a hit now rather than feeling the pain for 30 years.
Is it only investors who stand to benefit from the bank's new-found common sense?There have been reports that the bank is also prepared to negotiate with owner-occupiers who find themselves in serious trouble, but the bank has been tight-lipped on the score.
This all sounds eminently sensible, presumably the other banks will follow suit?The words "banks" and "eminently sensible" are not commonly found together and there is no indication indigenous banks are following the BoS lead. While property bubbles are new to Ireland, BoS has seen it all before in several hefty crashes in the UK and may be more clued-in at dealing with one.
If my bank won't talk to me and I am in negative equity can I give them the keys and let them sort out the mess?No. The bank can repossess and sell your house and then pursue you for any shortfall between the sale price and the size of the mortgage. If you give the bank your keys, you'll have nowhere to live and you'll still be heavily indebted to the bank.
