As he packed his bags in a Dublin hotel yesterday, Pádraig Nally said he often thinks of John Ward, the man he shot dead more than two years ago, and regularly prays for him. "I think of what happened all the time. It is always on my mind," Mr Nally said at O'Shea's Merchant Hotel.
He expressed sympathy to John Ward's widow, Marie, and her children. "These 11 youngsters are now without a father. It is a big loss to them."
Surrounded by friends and neighbours, and accompanied by his sister Maureen, a schoolteacher, the 62-year-old expressed relief and surprise that he had not been convicted.
"It was mighty stressful," he told reporters. "I was all the time worrying. I was prepared to go back to jail again." That pressure took its toll on Thursday of last week when he suffered chest pains and was rushed by ambulance from his hotel to St James's Hospital. Sources close to him say he is now on medication for angina.
"I was worried about the outcome right up to the time the jury came back," Mr Nally said yesterday,
"I did not think it would go my way. I thought I would be found guilty. I had been sort of preparing myself to go back to prison again. All the time I was on edge as to what would be the outcome."
The relief at having been acquitted showed on his face yesterday and his solicitor Seán Foy said he was "a new man, as if a crushing weight had been lifted off his shoulders".
From the moment the excitement of his acquittal had begun to subside, Mr Nally began looking forward to returning home to his farm - on which he keeps about 30 cattle - as well as a number of dogs.
He continued: "It was very good of my neighbours to look after the place while I was away. I missed the livestock. They are a big part of my life. I am looking forward to going to Maam Cross mart on Saturday [December 23rd]. I have been invited there."
Conceding he was now "a celebrity", he stressed that he had to "live that down".
"I know I am known all over Ireland. I got thousands of letters and many cards and Mass requests while I was in prison. Even while I was in Dublin people came up to me on the street wanting to shake my hand," he said.
Although he doesn't normally drink, Nally permitted himself one brandy following the jury verdict on Thursday evening. Neighbours who travelled to Dublin to support him during the trial promised that the return home yesterday would be low-key, without the slightest hint of celebrations.
One, Michael Varley, said: "There'll be no bonfires. All Pádraig wants to do is get on with his life again."
Another, Walter Waldron, said that Mr Nally wasn't given to emotion but he detected a tear in his eye, which he wiped away, a few minutes after the jury verdict was announced. Tony Ryan, a primary school friend, said: "Pádraig never raised his hand to anyone in his whole life."