Q. Why must the happy-clappy Me2! millennium movement be resisted at all costs?
A. For every yin, a yang. It may seem that the world is busy merrily scaring itself stiff about all sorts of Apocalypse Now situations. If it's not mad cults descending on Jerusalem stirring up trouble, it's global computer malfunction or Christian fundamentalists who have their own, self-patented, idea of the battle between good and evil.
If all the doom and gloom is getting to you, fear not. Into our lives comes a bright beacon of light, a symbol of hope and renewed optimism. It's also an absolute pain in the neck.
The Me2! movement is sneaking around the world preaching its banal bumper-sticker message of faith and love. Me2! was set up as a direct response to all the potential problems the millennium might bring and tries to ward them off with a big smiley face.
"Now there's a way for you to identify with a POSITIVE approach to the new millennium" reads their literature. "Me2! means count Me in 2 the new Millennium!".
In case anybody out there was thinking "What a great idea, I must put that on my T-shirt" - don't bother, the symbol Me2! has already been trademarked.
If nothing else, these people will keep exclamation marks busy over the next few months. Me2!, they tell us, is for all the people who are sick of the cynical, who don't believe the world is about to end, who aren't wringing their hands about a global computer crisis.
The creator of the movement, Marilyn Moran-Townsend (an American, funnily enough) says: "When you say Me2! you are standing up and saying you want to be part of the solution to a better world in the new millennium."
Apart from the cute message, they also have products to sell: "The Me2! family of products are awash with rainbow colours because people of all colour are important to the solution and because the rainbow is a symbol of hope," says Moran-Townsend, "we purposely chose a capital M and a little e (I think you'll find it's called "lower case", Marilyn) because adults and children, old and young are important to a better world in the new millennium.
"Soon Me2! will be the most recognisable symbol of the new millennium. Look at how families, communities and places of worship can come together to overcome wrongdoing or disasters. Good people step up, say `Me2!' and overcome incredible odds. Me2! is about rallying people to bring out the best in themselves. That will be the millennium spirit, not a cynical one."
Where would we be without Me2!, particularly as they've just introduced a computer "bug" that protects your computer instead of destroying it. The bug in question is in fact a doll which is "designed to put a kinder, gentler face on the new millennium."
"It can sit on top of your computer monitor, alongside your keyboard or any other place where it can emote positive energy through its smirky smile and little arms and legs in an effort to protect your computer from any invading negative influence."
You can buy this marvellous doll (which will cure all your ills) online for $12.95 but, whoops, I seem to have misplaced Me2!'s web address. You could try wwww.naive.com or then again maybe not.
