Failure to establish an adult intimate relationship during courtship is a primary cause of marital breakdown, according to a new book written by a Catholic priest.
This lack of mature intimacy was arising at the same time as an unprecedented level of sexual activity before marriage, according to Father Albert McDonnell, from the diocese of Killaloe.
Father McDonnell, who is from Ennis and studies Canon Law at the Irish College in Rome, has written a book titled When Strangers Marry - A Study of Marriage Breakdown, which seeks to identify common elements in the experience of separated couples and thereby broaden understanding of why marriages fail.
The book's findings are based on 80 cases from the files of the Galway Regional Marriage Tribunal. It is believed this is the first time information from a regional marriage tribunal has been used in the study of marriage breakdown.
Father McDonnell has examined the couples' childhoods, courtships, married life, difficulties leading to separation and lives after they split. The author focuses on a range of problem areas in marriage identified by the couples, including sexual issues, financial matters, infidelity, violence, addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, as well as the influence of education, class and religion.
Father McDonnell concluded that while infidelity is rarely the starting point for marital problems, it is frequently the catalyst for separation. However, where present, alcohol abuse and related problems such as infidelity, violence, deceit, distrust and ill-health usually emerged as the principal reasons for marital breakdown.
The findings from his survey indicated that premarital cohabitation had not reduced the risk of failure in the subsequent marriages. Father McDonnell agreed that cohabitation had helped to highlight problems in the relationships. But his study claimed that when the problems were not resolved before the couples became married, they often proved damaging to the relationship.
In the survey, 29 per cent of couples cohabited before marriage. Formal pre-marriage preparation courses received an overwhelmingly negative assessment from the couples.
The Galway Regional Marriage Tribunal was established by the Irish Catholic bishops in 1976 and hears cases from the diocese of Tuam, Achonry, Ardagh and Clonmacnois, Clonfert, Elphin, Galway, Killala and Killaloe. Three other regional tribunals were also formed in Dublin, Cork and Armagh.