TVScope:Real Life, TV3, Wednesday, 9pm
Among the events which fall under the heading "Every parent's nightmare" is the persistent bullying of a child by other children. The nightmare element arises not only from the effects of the bullying but from the fear that the parent will not find out about it in time to nip it in the bud.
In this documentary about bullying in UK schools, the parents of the four teenagers knew what was going on. Even so, they were unable to make the bullying stop.
The brazen attitude of the bullies was startling. When one girl, Amber, is filmed walking to school, the bullies, walking along behind her, are not put out in the least. "They are filming her," says one. "Why? She's a dog," says another. "She's a vampire so they're filming her," says a third. In the past, Amber has wanted to commit suicide. Now she is trying to ignore the bullies.
James has also had suicidal thoughts. Bullied by gangs in his school, he finally retaliates and hits one of them - and is reprimanded for his behaviour. So he stands in the middle of the road hoping to be struck by traffic until his mother finds him.
Rebecca "doesn't want them to win", but by the end of the programme has applied for a transfer to a new school. She tries to extract what good she can from the situation: "I suppose there's one good thing that's come out of this," she says. "You learn to appreciate your own company. You get used to being lonely."
Abbey has already changed schools. Her parents talked of their delight at picking her up after her first day at the new school and finding her smiling and not alone. "Everybody was coming up and saying hi to me and I am not used to that," said Abbey.
The programme also featured Mark, described as a former bully. "I never felt sorry for my victims," he said. He changed after he was sent on a course to learn about the impact of bullying on victims. "No one ever wants to be a bully," he said, suggesting that school bullies are not as aware as they ought to be of the damage they are doing. Perhaps creating such an awareness might help schools to address this problem.
"I just want to live a life like anyone else," says James, who does a martial arts course aimed at teaching him how to deflect physical attacks. We don't find out whether it made a significant difference.
As is so often the case, the victims of bullying were bright and likeable kids, just as the victims of adult bullying are often people who are very good at their jobs.
We don't really know why people bully. Perhaps, as Mark suggested, it stems from a lack of insight. Perhaps envy plays a role. And perhaps there is a dark side to humanity that delights in tormenting other people.
Review by counsellor Padraig O'Morain