THAT's MEN:Cancer shouldn't take over your whole being
SOME YEARS ago I watched a man become a dedicated patient after getting a diagnosis of cancer. Being a patient was his new identity, an identity made up of hospital appointments, medication and conversations about cancer.
At about the same time I saw another man carry on to lead the fullest life he possibly could. He looked on his cancer treatment as a support to enable him to make the most of his life.
Each man had given a different answer to this question: is my illness part of my experience or all of my experience?
The question is at the heart of the mindfulness approach to cancer and other illnesses, which has been pioneered in the United States by Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. As a result of Kabat-Zinn’s widely researched work, this approach has since been adopted by many hospitals in the western world as an adjunct to their traditional cancer treatment.
The approach, I should stress, has absolutely nothing to do with curing cancer. It is about living with cancer, but keeping the cancer in its place as you go about your medical treatment and about experiencing your life.
Many of the men who soldier on despite their cancer have never heard of mindfulness, so that’s not essentially what this column is about. It’s about attitude – an attitude which acknowledges that, yes, I have cancer but I also have this work that I do, or this social life or other activities that interest me. I don’t try to shut out the cancer but neither do I let the cancer shut out my interest in the other aspects of my life. I have pain, but that pain is not my whole body. There are parts of my body that are not in pain. I can be aware of those parts too.
Practising mindfulness helps in the cultivation of this attitude. Mindfulness involves deliberately paying attention to whatever is going on for you at the moment. That may be sounds, sights, conversation, your breathing, even your discomfort.
One way to get into mindfulness mode is to pay attention to your breathing. Every time you tune into your breathing you take yourself into the present moment because that’s where breathing occurs. Noticing the out-breath in particular can help bring about a sense of calm because this helps to engage the part of the nervous system concerned with relaxation.
But what matters most of all is that key attitude: my cancer is part of my experience but it is not all of my experience.
To learn more about this I would recommend the book Living well with pain and illnessby Vidyamala Burch. Her book concerns chronic pain but the principles apply equally to cancer. She herself has experienced chronic pain for decades. Helpful articles outlining her approach have been published on the wildmind.org website at http://bit.ly/vidyamala.
Finally, and on a different matter, a press release from Gearóid O’Byrne to say that 24 Irishmen will gather in Boghill, Co Clare from 13th-15th May for a “rite of passage” weekend intended to help them lead lives of deeper fulfilment, accountability, integrity and connection.
The New Warrior Training Adventure is run by the international ManKind Project. O’Byrne says that through it he has “learnt a level of emotional awareness, integrity and accountability and met open, honest men the like of whom I’ve rarely met elsewhere”.
An internet search suggests that many participants in the weekends find they make a positive difference in their lives, though there have been some criticisms in the US that the experience could bring up emotional issues that are difficult to deal with.
If you’re interested, do your research first and decide whether it’s for you.
Jimmy Dunne handles enrolment for the New Warrior Training Adventure weekend: jimmyinfocus49@yahoo.ie; unitedkingdom.mkp.org/
Padraig O'Morain (pomorain@ireland.com) is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book, Light Mind - Mindfulness for Daily Living,is published by Veritas. His mindfulness newsletter is free by e-mail