That's men for you: I am one of those men who won't ask for directions.
I will drive doggedly from street to street for at least three- quarters of an hour before I give in and ask somebody for the information I need.
I am not alone in this. It is said to be characteristic of men that we will battle on and not ask for directions even when this means going around in circles forever and a day.
At heart, we all want to be the strong, silent type who doesn't need help. Therefore, we don't ask for help until we have absolutely no option but to do so.
So we try to "tough out" illnesses, relationship problems and depression rather than admit that we need help.
It's as if asking for something - admitting that we actually have needs - is a sign of weakness.
On the contrary, asking for help can be very powerful.
For example, if you want to get closer to somebody, ask them for help.
At first glance, that doesn't make sense. But suppose you are in a relationship with somebody and some distance has grown between you.
In that situation, asking her for help, even if you think you don't need help at the time, is a way of creating a deeper level of communication.
I'm talking here about pretty mundane things, like getting her opinion on how you might resolve two conflicting appointments or whether it would be a good idea for you to take the kids into town on Saturday. It doesn't have to be about the meaning of life.
It's a way of saying I need you, I'm not a self-sufficient person who doesn't need anybody, please help me.
That approach will get you much further than being Mister Self-Sufficient.
Actually, the same thing applies in the world of work.
If you need to deal with somebody in your organisation who's a bit of a curmudgeon and who, on first being asked for something, will bite your head off, try a different tack. Try saying, "I have a bit of a problem, I'm not sure what to do, I wonder if you can help me."
Then explain what you want and quite often your curmudgeon will gladly give you what would have been refused if you had asked for it straight out.
Believe me, I've tried this and it works. Your curmudgeon responds well to a request for help because by asking for his help, you have acknowledged his power. You have allowed him to be generous.
By the way, most of the curmudgeons I have worked with happen to have been male but this approach works with female curmudgeons too.
Good negotiators have no problem about asking. And here's an odd thing: guys in suits will go into a business negotiation and ask for this, that and the other and not feel in the least bashful about it. Ask them to go home and ask their wife for help and they go all shy.
Of course, in business negotiations, both sides get to do lots of preening and strutting about. You won't get away with preening and strutting with the missus.
What that means, though, is that you have to be genuine with her. So if you need something, you have to abandon the strong, silent stance and come right out and say you need it.
Is that why, in relationships, we so often go around acting as though we don't need anything?
Do we fear that asking for what we need will make us appear weak?
To acknowledge that you actually have needs and that you are not incredibly self-sufficient won't make you a weakling. It will make you a human being and your partner in all likelihood will appreciate that fact and your relationships will grow stronger as a result.
Strong, silent types may look good in magazines and on the screen but they're not much fun to live with.
So ditch Mister Self-Sufficient and be a real human being with needs. It will get you further in the long run.
• Padraig O'Morain is a journalist and counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.