UNTIL YESTERDAY, Copenhagen’s most famous citizen was a girl with a fishy tail sitting on a rock. No more. The day saw the big beasts of the green jungle arrive – what ecologists would term the “charismatic megafauna”, intent on adding their weight and lustre to the struggling climate negotiation.
First up was “Governator” Arnold Schwarzenegger, who arrived at the conference centre with 10 men in black with wires sprouting from their ears, a phalanx of cameramen and a perma-tan. Lesser beasts, like mere ministers, princes, diplomats, UN chiefs and state governors, bowed before him.
“Arnie is a climate activist hero, his words are short, his actions long, he reaches out to all of us,” said Gordon Campbell, the governor of British Columbia, who was chosen to welcome him. “No one has done more for climate, he is an exemplary role model.”
“Dat’s the way I wrote it,” said the green-tied beast with perfect teeth, who recalled he had once been to Copenhagen as a body builder. “Some will say da world will melt and we will all die; but I say this conference is already a success. Copenhagen makes us think differently. We are beginning one of history’s great transitions,” he said, before adding with menace: “I am governor of California and I have the right to brag . . . I will be back.”
The lesser fauna cheered, the cameras whirred, the teeth flashed and Arnie handed the baton to Prince Charles, who an hour later addressed diplomats and negotiators at the ceremonial opening of the high-level political part of the summit.
If Arnie was glam, Charles was glum: “The grim reality is that our planet has reached a point of crisis . . . we appear intent upon consuming the planet”
He offered some hope. “Just as mankind had the power to push the world to the brink, so, too, do we have the power to bring it back into balance.”
Climate groupies then queued to hear economist Nick Stern, Nobel prize winner Wangari Maathai and actorDarryl Hannah, but it was Al Gore – “I used to be the next president of the United States” – who packed in the biggest crowd. “Today alone we have dumped 90 million tonnes of carbon into the atmosphere,” he began. “We are on a track that takes us past many tipping points . . . glaciers are entering runaway melting mode.”
Having softened up the audience, he launched into a series of home truths about the urgency of action.
Last came London mayor Boris Johnson, one-time climate sceptic. Sandwiched on a panel between the mayors of Los Angeles, Copenhagen, New York and Johannesburg, Johnson struck out at the glums. “Stop being so unremittingly negative and gloomy,” he demanded. “A golden era of clean, green electric motoring is upon us.”
As the big beasts and their stardust began to disappear, the climate outside the venue actually warmed up a little, from freezing cold to simply snowing.