Feathers fail to fly as fox confronts chicken

In the protracted run-up to last night's debate, Fine Gael sought to portray the Taoiseach as a debate-fearing chicken, confident in the belief that Michael Noonan was an old fox, and that when the two finally met, feathers would fly.

The characterisation was only slightly off. This campaign has shown that if Mr Ahern resembles any member of the bird family, it's the old cartoon character, Road Runner: elusive, fast-moving (allegedly), and constantly dashing around the country going "Beep Beep".

And if Mr Noonan has resembled a crafty, four-legged creature, it has to be Road Runner's eternal but frustrated enemy, Wile E Coyote.

So it was when the much-hyped debate came to pass. Wile E appeared to have the bird cornered at last, pinned down in the areas of crime and health, on both of which the Taoiseach sounded defensive. Ethics came next on Prime Time's agenda, and here Mr Noonan had made a pre-emptive strike in the form of Fine Gael's anti-sleaze document, a cunningly designed election trap supplied by the Acme election trap company.

But inevitably, the coyote's plan misfired and the Road Runner was off again. Mr Ahern shaded the ethics debate, performed a quick lap of honour on Northern Ireland. And by the time he reached the safe ground of economics, you could almost hear him go "Beep Beep" at the thought of a last whirlwind round of canvassing today.

Mr Noonan proved what everybody knew: that he is the better debater. Following the communications textbook, he told stories, where Mr Ahern recited facts. Cunningly, he also attributed certain story-telling skills to his opposite number, collected under the title of "Alice in Bertieland". But he needed a knock-out and this wasn't it.

In the event, the debate billed as "the broadcasting event of the election campaign" was as dramatic as some of yesterday's weather reports. There were even uncanny similarities, blustery conditions, sunny intervals, the warm front exuded by Mr Ahern. But - ominously for Mr Noonan - the weather forecast and the latest polls both suggested rain in the south-west.