The tragic cost of victimisation

One mother recently had the full horror of bullying visited upon her family when her son committed suicide after experiencing problems at school.

Her son killed himself in his room one morning because he could no longer face the bullies at his school, who often numbered a dozen or more fellow pupils.

Described as a shy and gentle boy, this gentleness was treated as a weakness by the bullies and her son was severely beaten on several occasions.

The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, says her son was bullied for three years, right up until the his death.

She is angry that some people tend to link suicide with inaccessible and mysterious "family problems", rather than admit that bullying is often the sole cause. Her son came from a loving and caring family, and he knew he was loved, needed and wanted, she says.

The 15-year-old boy had, despite the stereotypical image of the bullied child, plenty of friends. However, because of the way his school "streamed" pupils, they were not always in the same class as him and could not give him protection.

It is ironic in the light of the current dispute over supervision in schools that much of the bullying went on between classes in the corridors.

The boy's mother and her friends say nothing was ever done to discipline the boys who were involved in the bullying. Whenever their parents were confronted, they simply refused to believe their beloved sons could do anything so heinous.

The school authorities also failed to act, she claims, even though there were plenty of indications of how the bullying was affecting the boy.

Also, she says, the school should not have disclosed the cause of death to other pupils, because it sent unfortunate ripples throughout the whole school. When the boy was not physically under threat, he was undermined by snide comments about his appearance, hairstyle and sexuality.

There was no coherence to the comments, just a general desire to damage, hurt and bewilder the young man. He could not live with this and would sometimes make an excuse, any excuse, not to go to school in the morning, says his mother.

As with many instances of bullying there was a leader among the wider group of bullies. He seemed to take particular pleasure in inflicting physical pain on the boy.

He would tease the other boys for not showing enough bottle when it came to bullying the boy, the mother says.