Delighted Senators finally have the run of the House

SEANAD SKETCH:THE DÁIL is in recess and the Senators had the place to themselves. The members of the Upper House were delighted.

Their big set-piece is the Order of Business. They bring up issues of national and international importance and anything else that comes into their heads.

At the end of the session, House leader Donie Cassidy sums up the contributions. Then he tells the Senators that he will pass on their concerns to the relevant Ministers, for Donie is well got with the big wigs in Government.

Yesterday, the Opposition’s main gripe was that they didn’t have enough time to discuss the Criminal Justice Amendment Bill. The debate would be guillotined by the end of the day. Donie said he wouldn’t terminate proceedings until everyone had a chance to have their say, and would sit into the early hours if needs be.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern had to be there until the bitter end. He didn’t look overjoyed at the prospect, but he wanted “to see the legislation in place so people can be charged the day after it’s passed”. (Everyone in Leinster House privately agreed that this meant in the next few days, President Mary McAleese available and willing.)

Donie and his sidekick Terry Leyden stuck to the view that the Bill would be brought back to the Dáil by the Minister if the Seanad agreed an amendment. But Labour’s Alex White was in no mood to play along with the charade. “What would be the effect of any changes this chamber might propose and have adopted in that Bill? . . . The sad reality is that anything we do today . . . despite all the talk about the relevance of the Seanad, will be entirely irrelevant.”

Leyden strenuously disagreed, but not before he dismissed Labour as being controlled by the former Workers’ Party and Sinn Féin. Then he spoke about the terrible plight of taxi drivers.

Ann Ormonde suggested the chamber should debate the difficulties that will be faced by “the offspring of the boom years” when they return in September.

But Eoghan Harris (who would later gambol in the “historical hinterland” of Plato and Aristotle during a barnstorming performance on the Criminal Justice Bill) was nursing a dark vision of the future for a political class which refuses to give up its pay and perks. Harris is happy to remind his colleagues on a regular basis that he took a voluntary pay cut. If Senators don’t follow suit, the public will take note and “a day of reckoning will come”.

Fine Gael’s Jerry Buttimer attacked the Greens; Fianna Fáil’s Mark Daly attacked the GAA for allowing the All-Ireland finals to be played on imported British sod. The pair of them, self-appointed young bucks of the chamber, locked horns and got on with insulting each other. Cathaoirleach Pat Moylan, a timid sort, banged his bell with his pen, making a sound like a nervous alpine heifer tying to tip-toe through the edelweiss without disturbing a blade of grass.

In the space of an hour, members ambled through noise pollution and boy-racers, dung-catchers for horses, missing children, Northern Ireland, contaminated ice-cubes, the Criminal Justice Bill, speed limits, An Bord Snip Nua, farm payments and people going on holidays.

Fianna Fáil’s Jim Walsh wanted a debate in September on swine flu. Fine Gael’s Nicky McFadden wanted more urgency: “It’s a long time away to have a mere debate on the matter at a time when 133 people have died in Ireland.” Eoghan Harris and Ann Ormond got a fit of the giggles. Nicky corrected herself. “God forgive me, they’re not dead.”

Finally, Donie rose to his feet. He’s great at this top-of-the-head stuff. He sympathised with the plight of the poor taxi drivers. He praised the GAA, “the pride and joy of our country”. He was endeavouring to get an update on the swine flu from the Minister for Health. He noted the comments on contaminated ice and remembered doing wheelies as a teenager on his bicycle. And then there was the matter of the pay cuts. Harris has given a good example, said hotelier and music impresario Donie. “Senators have accepted a 25 per cent reduction in our travelling allowances, as well as a 10 per cent levy, which is substantial. It represents about €20,000 to most Senators living outside the Dublin area, which is a large amount of money because a Senator’s salary is a humble one in a sense.” A humble €74,000 before expenses.

In the afternoon, the Taoiseach came in and read a speech on Northern Ireland. He got a standing ovation when he entered the chamber. Mind you, now that the Dáil has risen, Biffo is hoping to avoid the spotlight.

The Seanad has its uses.