How agreeable are you?
I was going to say I am “very agreeable”, but my family seems unconvinced. Cheek of them.
What’s your middle name and what do you think of it?
John. It’s fairly unremarkable, really. Like my first name, come to think of it ... I don’t know what that says about how my parents expected me to turn out.
Where is your favourite place in Ireland?
I suppose as a native I can’t say Dublin? Probably just as well, because I’d be torn between Fernhill Park in Stepaside, the Reading Room of the National Library, or Byrne’s of Galloping Green. Assuming I can’t say Dublin, I’ll opt for the beach at Dunfanaghy in Donegal. When it’s not raining.
Describe yourself in three words
Work in progress.
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When did you last get angry?
When a careless SUV driver knocked me off my bike a few months ago. Unparliamentary language was used, I fear ... In fairness, the driver was very apologetic and accepted full responsibility – which is fair enough, as it was entirely their fault. They even offered me a lift home, which I declined because I’d had enough experience of their driving.
What have you lost that you would like to have back?
Various books I’ve leant to people over the years – if anyone has my copy of The War of the Flea, I’d like it back please. Anyone who has borrowed a book from me recently, be warned, I’ve taken to keeping notes.
What’s your strongest childhood memory?
I don’t know if it’s my strongest memory, but I fondly recall feeding the ducks in Stephen’s Green, going home to bacon and eggs for tea, then watching Robin Hood on the telly. The perfect day for a four year old.
Where do you come in your family’s birth order, and has this defined you?
I’m the youngest of two, so according to my brother I was spoiled. He’d certainly say that defined me – and he may even be right.
What do you expect to happen when you die?
I expect my friends and family to have a big party, which will hopefully be nice for them – it seems unlikely to bother me one way or the other. In any case, I intend to compile the playlist in advance, in order to subject them to my taste in music one last time.
When were you happiest?
In order to counter any suggestion within the family circle that I’m not agreeable (see first answer), I’ll say it’s a tie between my wedding day and the day our daughter was born. Both very happy days, in fairness, and both led to many happy days subsequently.
Which actor would play you in a biopic about your life?
If he was still here, the late great Dermot Morgan – it’s the hair.
What’s your biggest career/personal regret?
I have plenty of both, but I’m not really sure I want to share them with your readers. I suppose I could mention my C in Leaving Cert history, which still rankles. On the other hand, I mentioned it in a clip in the Leaving Cert and Me series for RTÉ News Social, which led to an old pal from schooldays getting in touch. We met up for the first time in almost 30 years, and he hadn’t changed a bit. Lovely evening, which I hope we’ll repeat. So now I suppose I’ll have to let go of my regrets ...
Do you have any psychological quirks?
As you can see from the previous answer, I have an irrational hatred of answering questions about myself, particularly if the answers are due to appear in a national newspaper. But I’m doing my best to confront and overcome this particular oddity. The rest of my quirks I’ll keep.