Noughts, yellow crosses and very precise instruction at the bike school for speed - and accuracy

BIKE FEATURE: CALIFORNIA SUPERBIKE SCHOOL: No matter how good you think you are, writes GEOFF HILL , you can always get better…

BIKE FEATURE: CALIFORNIA SUPERBIKE SCHOOL:No matter how good you think you are, writes GEOFF HILL, you can always get better, no matter how unlikely it seems

I AM, I confess, the slowest biker in the known universe. Riding a Triumph from Chile to Alaska, the only things I overtook were a water buffalo, two llamas and an alpaca with a limp.

At one stage, as my travelling companion Clifford Paterson never tired of pointing out, I was actually passed by a team of Ecuadorian cyclists, although in my defence I have to say that those guys looked pretty fit.

There was only one thing for it, and that was to sign up for the California Superbike School, brainchild of legendary coach Keith Code who, having produced astonishing results with racers, founded the school in 1980 to pass on his techniques.

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“No problem,” said Lynn at the school’s UK HQ when I phoned to book a place. “Do you have leathers?”

“No, I’ll need to rent some, but I’m 6ft 7. And a bit,” I said.

“You’re not.”

“I am. I’ve checked.”

In spite of weeks of mails and phone calls, attempts to procure said leathers proved fruitless.

“It might have been simpler to kill a cow, take out the squidgy bits and stick a zip on,” I said to Phillip McCallen, the former race ace who now runs a dealership in Lisburn.

“Leave it to me,” he said, dialing the number of James Thompson of MotoDirect.

In 30 seconds I was sorted, and on a sunny morning a week later I presented myself, in my shiny new RST Rift outfit, to Andy Ibbott.

As a self-confessed arrogant twenty-something racer, Andy went to the school convinced it could teach him nothing; then came home and moved from the middle of the pack to the winners’ podium almost overnight.

Converted, he persuaded Keith to start a branch in the UK, and he’s now the school’s director for Europe, the Middle East and South Africa.

In the classroom, the temperature was already climbing past 30 degrees, and all around me were hardened men who were too cool to sweat, in well-worn and fly-specked leathers.

I looked down at my virgin knee sliders and wished I’d taken some sandpaper to them.

“Right,” said Andy. “Hands up who wants to go faster around corners.”

There was much nervous muttering and shuffling of feet, since we have all been taught the fallacy that speed is a sin.

“Oh, come on. You hardly want to go slower, do you?”

Hands began to rise.

“That’s better. Lesson one: keeping the bike stable is the fundamental goal. The four ways you do that are throttle, brakes, gears and steering.

“The way we teach you to approach corners is to get your speed and gear right, close the throttle completely, establish your lean, then from that point stop steering and open the throttle smoothly all the way around the rest of the corner.

“To improve your sense of speed going into a corner, your first track session will be no brakes, and third gear.”

And so, slightly trepidatious, to the track to climb aboard one of the school bikes.

It was, naturally, a Yamaha R6, a bike so dinky that when my mate Ricky saw me riding one on the M2 last year, his first thought was: “What’s that idiot doing riding a mini-moto down the motorway? Oh, it’s Geoff.”

“Well, how did it go?” asked Andy after several laps in which I managed not to fall off once.

“Well, it worked best when I did exactly what you said.”

“Funny, that,” he grinned. “Next question: How do you know when to start turning?”

“The Force. Instinct?”

“Not quite. What most riders do is look into the corner early, and since you go where you look, they turn too early as well. So to make it easy, next time you go out, there’ll be a big yellow X at the correct turning point. And as a special treat, you can use fourth gear.”

“You spoil me, ambassador,” I said, picking up my helmet and walking back to the pits to meet Spidey, my track instructor, also known as Andy Peck. With one instructor to three riders, it was almost like having a private coach.

And you know what? Andy was right again: you can turn in far later than you think you can.

Next step was countersteering, or turning the handlebars left to go right, and vice versa. This may not make any sense in a sane and rational world, but it works: try pushing the right bar the next time you’re going down a straight road, and the bike will lean right, not left. This is caused by Dr Furtwangler’s Gyroscopic Principle, which I am prepared to explain to you for a small sum in used fivers.

What it means in practice is that you enter a corner faster, turn later and quicker, then start feeding the throttle in immediately, meaning that you accelerate through and out of the corner faster too.

Except for some reason I had adopted the strange habit of leaning the bike over and sitting upright.

“You’re acting like a bad passenger who fights the bike,” said Andy. “Use your knees against the tank for support rather than the bars. Relax your shoulders, drop your elbows and hold the bars as gently as an egg.”

“Fried or boiled?”

“Freshly hatched. Your target this time is to use the bars for steering rather than leaning on, and corner with the lightest possible touch on them.”

Well, wow, what a difference, as my granny said when she swapped her burkha for a polka-dot bikini.

“Brilliant. Now forget everything, and learn the two-step,” said Andy. “As soon as you’ve lined the bike up with your turning point, look towards the apex of the corner – that’s where you’ll go once you turn.”

I did, and improved yet again.

“Well done, everyone,” said Andy at the final debriefing. “Now go home and practise one thing at a time, all the time.”

As I said to him afterwards, the improvement of not only me, but everyone I talked to, was remarkable for one day, especially since although the school is seamlessly efficient, it’s also relaxed and good-humoured.

It was, in short, an intensely enjoyable experience which left me cornering a third to a half faster than before, and feeling in control of the bike more than I ever had.

So here, for your edification, is the G Hill idiot’s guide to cornering: close throttle, pick turning point, pick apex, establish the lean quickly by countersteering, feed in throttle smoothly.

Send your cheques to the usual place.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to phone Andy and tell him I’m going for a spin up the Antrim coast tomorrow to give him enough time to paint yellow crosses on the road.

The California Superbike School

The California Superbike School is at Mondello from August 25th-27th, with all four course levels available on each of these dates.

For bookings, prices and details, contact Mondello Park on 045-860 200 or see mondellopark.ie.

For details of the school, call 08700 671061 or visit superbikeschool.co.uk.

Geoff Hill’s RST Rift leathers were supplied by James Thompson of MotoDirect. For your nearest stockist, tel: 028-867 66 430 or see moto-direct.com